Yeah, "not like the other girls" is extremely widespread in that exact formulation (beyond Tumblr as well).
As for your second paragraph, I think there's something to the fact that, in the end, sexism matters, and the regalia being blue basically doesn't
True, though maybe it was just a poorly-chosen example. The hyperscrutiny can bring up all sorts of things, some of which are ultimately trivial and some of which aren't, but the hyperscrutiny itself is the thing I'm trying to get at. Like people going on (and on and on and on) about Disa's lack of a beard in ROP; yeah, ROP's designs are very gendered even by comparison with Tolkien and her lack of a beard is part of that, it's a fair criticism in itself, but the way that Disa's lack of a beard gets packaged together with outrage over Disa being played by a Black actress and refusal to engage w/ her on any other level despite her being one of the most intriguing and sympathetic characters on the show has made me extremely skeptical of it in practice.
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As for your second paragraph, I think there's something to the fact that, in the end, sexism matters, and the regalia being blue basically doesn't
True, though maybe it was just a poorly-chosen example. The hyperscrutiny can bring up all sorts of things, some of which are ultimately trivial and some of which aren't, but the hyperscrutiny itself is the thing I'm trying to get at. Like people going on (and on and on and on) about Disa's lack of a beard in ROP; yeah, ROP's designs are very gendered even by comparison with Tolkien and her lack of a beard is part of that, it's a fair criticism in itself, but the way that Disa's lack of a beard gets packaged together with outrage over Disa being played by a Black actress and refusal to engage w/ her on any other level despite her being one of the most intriguing and sympathetic characters on the show has made me extremely skeptical of it in practice.