![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
anghraineA post just crossed my dash about how only the privileged can afford to stay calm. I see these posts … pretty much all the time. And it’s true to an extent.
But that extent is “in some alternate universe where everyone is neurotypical.”
I cannot speak for every neuroatypical person. I can’t even speak for every autistic person. But I am very, very certain that I can speak for more than just myself when I say nope.
I can’t handle anger. It doesn’t matter whether it’s my own or someone else’s. I just–I can’t. It short-circuits my brain and sends me spinning into total panic. You have to see–okay, I don’t want to dictate other people’s emotional expression, but I don’t think you understand.
A shoe dropping to the floor makes me jump. The slam of a door echoes inside my head. Sunshine hurts my eyes and the sound of puppies screeches along my nerves. Everything is so bright and loud, it’s–simply existing in the world is painful and exhausting, do you understand? Staying calm is how I’m able to function in it without flying apart. It gives me a sort of oasis from everything else and it gives me a sense of control.
But no matter how calm I am, I can’t deal with anger for very long. And it’s not that everyone has to cater to my specific needs, it really isn’t. I understand that people need to be able to express anger. (I do too!) And that people need a place where they don’t always have to be soft-spoken and accommodating. But these posts that suggest that there is no place for serenity in social justice circles–that there are no circles that should be structured and calm, that that’s solely about caving into the oppressors or whatever–and it’s not just random Tumblr posts that say this–it seems to me that it’s saying that social justice, itself, is not for me. It’s not for people like me. It’s the difference between “not everything needs to cater to you” and “nothing should ever cater to you.”
And, frankly, the idea that it's always up to us to adapt ourselves to other people, without exception–that’s not anything new or progressive. And so often, it seems like disability is ignored or belatedly tacked on, that others’ empowerment requires us to be essentially barred from entry to social justice circles–not this one there or that over there, but all of them.
But that extent is “in some alternate universe where everyone is neurotypical.”
I cannot speak for every neuroatypical person. I can’t even speak for every autistic person. But I am very, very certain that I can speak for more than just myself when I say nope.
I can’t handle anger. It doesn’t matter whether it’s my own or someone else’s. I just–I can’t. It short-circuits my brain and sends me spinning into total panic. You have to see–okay, I don’t want to dictate other people’s emotional expression, but I don’t think you understand.
A shoe dropping to the floor makes me jump. The slam of a door echoes inside my head. Sunshine hurts my eyes and the sound of puppies screeches along my nerves. Everything is so bright and loud, it’s–simply existing in the world is painful and exhausting, do you understand? Staying calm is how I’m able to function in it without flying apart. It gives me a sort of oasis from everything else and it gives me a sense of control.
But no matter how calm I am, I can’t deal with anger for very long. And it’s not that everyone has to cater to my specific needs, it really isn’t. I understand that people need to be able to express anger. (I do too!) And that people need a place where they don’t always have to be soft-spoken and accommodating. But these posts that suggest that there is no place for serenity in social justice circles–that there are no circles that should be structured and calm, that that’s solely about caving into the oppressors or whatever–and it’s not just random Tumblr posts that say this–it seems to me that it’s saying that social justice, itself, is not for me. It’s not for people like me. It’s the difference between “not everything needs to cater to you” and “nothing should ever cater to you.”
And, frankly, the idea that it's always up to us to adapt ourselves to other people, without exception–that’s not anything new or progressive. And so often, it seems like disability is ignored or belatedly tacked on, that others’ empowerment requires us to be essentially barred from entry to social justice circles–not this one there or that over there, but all of them.
no subject
on 2018-12-14 01:21 am (UTC)no subject
on 2018-12-17 09:21 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2018-12-14 06:53 pm (UTC)Taking more positive steps is probably better; saying "I'm concerned about this thing, how can we help make it better" gets things done without anyone else hurting. But Tumblr has never been good at nuance; there's often the One True Way presented and anyone not toeing the line is the enemy. *sigh*