anghraine: kirk stands behind an elderly man turned away from him; kirk's manner is severe and almost menacing while the old man (kodos the executioner) looks thoughtful (kirk and kodos)


Okay, look, I swear I’m doing other things than this fic. I also wrote original fiction yesterday, and spent time with friends, and I’m going to re-certify my repayment plan today, and you know, anyway, here’s a prequel snippet to the one about femslash Spirk emotions after “Conscience of the King.” This is set earlier, as S'paak hunts down the clues about Kirk’s motives during the plot of the episode.

S’paak had been puzzled in her youth at the tales of her barbaric ancestors—the Vulcan ones, not the human ones. They had been a people of unrestrained passions of all kinds, prone to anger, violence, war, irrational attachments, even to hunting animals that presented no danger to them. They had been willing to incinerate their planet before forgetting a wrong to themselves or their clans. Only later had Vulcans found another path, the path of peace and reason to which she had long committed herself. It felt so natural to her that she often found this history of her people difficult to believe, difficult to even imagine, and yet it was so.

It took her until the first year of the Enterprise’s deep-space expedition to understand.

The inexorable activity of her mind had linked the captain’s uncharacteristic abruptness to the murder of Dr. Leighton. S’paak had not forgotten Kirk’s private inquiries about his professional reputation, and this left her all the more intrigued by the captain’s sudden demotion of a blameless Lieutenant Riley, as well as suspicious of their new guests. It was an easy enough task to order the nearest ship computer to correlate all known data on the individuals she thought concerned—Thomas Leighton, Jessica Kirk, Kevin Riley, Anton Karidian—but less easy to hear the results.

S’paak had not known the details of the starvation of the Tarsus IV colony twenty years earlier, nor of the eugenicist policies of its governor in determining who would receive the remaining rations, nor of the scale of slaughter that had taken place as thousands were marched into converted anti-matter chambers. She had certainly not known that Dr. Leighton, Kevin Riley, and Jessica Kirk—Jess, her friend—were among the witnesses and survivors. In addition, these three were on record as having seen the notoriously reclusive governor with their own eyes.

Nine survivors of the massacre had received that dubious honor. After Leighton’s murder, only two of the nine remained alive, Kirk and Riley. Leighton, older than both, might well have recalled Kodos’s face clearly, and now he lay dead. Riley had been a small boy. Jess, though, had been thirteen. Still a child, but old enough to remember. Old enough to be dangerous to the guilty.

anghraine: A female version of Spock from Star Trek made in Star Trek Online; she is slender, with a short bob; she is wearing loose black trousers instead of a miniskirt (s'paak [figure])
I wrote more femslash K/S, and spent hours more than I had anticipated on it because this section grew in the telling (i.e. it came to encompass multiple episodes’ worth of S'paak restraining both gay longing and seething hatred of certain individuals). So this is just an excerpt from a considerably longer section.

Also, the context of the episode this section draws from merits a massive warning for sexual coercion that is highly relevant to what happens here.

The Scalosians would have trapped the captain for the rest of her life if not for her own ingenuity in conveying information across time, and McCoy’s rapid development of a cure. Of course, he hadn’t known how to get it to Kirk, and had stared when S’paak promptly drank the Scalosian water.

“S’paak, you don’t know what that will do to you!” he exclaimed.

She did not betray herself with an indifferent shrug, but felt the temptation. He knew his field, even if she was loath to depend upon his judgment in many other matters. And they had no other way to reach Kirk. For S’paak, it was an easy risk to take, and within minutes, proved worth it. She quickly found the captain, and was only too willing to formulate a quick plan of attack with her. She would have done more if Jess had asked. Instead, they forced the Scalosians back through the transporter to their own planet, and S’paak handed McCoy’s cure over to Jess. It worked, thankfully; she vanished back into the ordinary flow of time while S’paak repaired the damage to the ship with her usual efficiency.

The silence and emptiness as she repaired consoles were pleasant in some respects; she could not deny that. But her skin crawled enough that when she was done, she hurried to the bridge in a less dignified manner than she would ever have done before others. Without hesitation, she drank down the rest of the antidote.

The other crew members frozen on the bridge began to move, slowly at first, and then at their usual bustling pace, several starting as they noticed her. For once, S’paak could welcome being stared at. She turned to see Captain Kirk smiling slightly at her.

“Commander S’paak,” she said, “my compliments to your repair work and yourself.”

anghraine: t'pring from tos: she is a vulcan woman with dramatic, sparkly silver eyeshadow and dark hair in a tall, elaborate coiffure (t'pring)
[personal profile] venndaai responded to this post:

LOOOOVE THIIIIS. You did my wife T’Pring justice 😍 and I’m obsessed with this dynamic between her and S’paak!!!


I replied:

Thank you!!! I was nervous about writing her POV out of nowhere, but I adored her in "Amok Time" and wanted to do right by her personality and voice in that episode in the AU context. When I thought about what her role would be in the AU, I thought it would be really interesting to focus on how the tense respect between her and Spock manifests when they have more common experience.

zingsthings said (on 31 Jan):

a) OBSESSED with this concept b) THE LAST PARAGRAPH is very rude and very perfect. but ouch


I replied:

Thank you very much! I love that line in TOS and thought that it'd be really interesting to see how Spock's mixture of composure and devastation would look from outside.
anghraine: t'pring from tos: she is a vulcan woman with dramatic, sparkly silver eyeshadow and dark hair in a tall, elaborate coiffure (t'pring)
It’s well past midnight, but I felt like doing another piece of the femslash Spirk AU for WIP Wednesday (surprising no one) and what came out was … T'Pring POV? This is, of course, set in the direct aftermath of S'paak’s pon farr (as sketched out here), but in an AU version of “Amok Time”:

As a girl, T’Pring had harbored an irrational, and thus regrettable, envy of t’sai S’paak. She had resented S’paak’s status as the daughter of Sarek, and her superior performance on certain mathematical examinations given in childhood, especially as S’paak was but half a Vulcan. In a little time, of course, T’Pring overcame such childish emotions, and thirty years later, she regarded S’paak only as the obstacle to her own desires.

The death of the Starfleet captain sufficed well enough for her plans; indeed, she had considered this the most likely eventuality. The body of the captain and the doctor were transported to their ship, and S’paak, clearly rational once more, walked over to speak to T’Pau and Stonn—mainly T’Pau. T’Pring could not hear them from where she stood, but Stonn did not communicate any failures of their plan to her.

Before she could think further on any of it, S’paak strode directly over to T’Pring herself, perhaps due to information received from Stonn or T’Pau, or perhaps no more than her own deductions. It would not take great acuity of observation to recognize T’Pring’s hand in the proceedings, after all: certainly less than S’paak had always possessed.

T’Pring was not afraid. She lifted her head and met S’paak’s eyes, both of them smooth-faced and unflinching. Whatever human qualities S’paak might have inherited from her mother were nowhere in evidence.

“T’Pring,” said S’paak, “I am wondering why you sought my death, or that of my captain.”

anghraine: kirk and spock stare at each other in a turbolift on the enterprise; their shadows projected on the wall behind them are nearly touching (kirk/spock [turbolift])
I finished TOS today :’(

From J’s loathing of the series finale, I thought it would be worse tbh. It is not good, to be clear! Obviously the whole conceit of the episode is intensely misogynistic (and transphobic, though I think that was less intentional). And Janice is so completely identified with Gender Rage while also being so mediocre as a person that her characterization is somewhere between insulting and comically stupid, but with a bit of generosity there are some things I still find intriguing about it.

anghraine: A female version of Kirk from Star Trek made in Star Trek Online; she is a curvy woman wearing the TOS miniskirt in command gold; she has dark blonde hair pulled away from her face (jessica [close])
astarreborn responded to this post:

You should flip some of the women toolike city on the edge of forever, and the ingenue from conscience of the king,

I replied:

I've been thinking about this, because I tend to prefer AUs that take a relatively restricted premise and see where the specific consequences of that premise go rather than adopting a whole bevy of changes, but also I can't really see a way around the implicit homophobia without more changes... hmm. I would probably not switch Edith (that romance is more interesting to me as f/f in that cultural context) but Kodos's child being a son makes a LOT of sense, Charlie X would go really differently with f!Kirk unless Charlie is also a girl...etc. 🤔

astarreborn responded:

You could flip yoeman rand just for the fun changes to the enemy within. On further thought i agree with you on edith.

Is it ok if I come back in a few hours with more thoughts? I don't want to annoy you too much, but I really like this idea


I replied:

No problem! I'm delighted anyone at all is interested :)

anghraine: A female version of Kirk from Star Trek made in Star Trek Online; she is a curvy woman wearing the TOS miniskirt in command gold with knee-high dark boots; she has dark blonde hair and the bridge computers of a Federation starship are glowing behind her (jessica [full])
In response to this post about my particular femslash Kirk/Spock concept, smallblueandloud reblogged with my tags attached and then added (on Jan 23rd):

#goddddddddd i am loving this #LOVE the thought you put into kirk’s name #i can see why deborah was your first choice but i’m excited to see where jessica goes! #the idea of kirk as an odysseus archetype is something i’m really fascinated by and i want to think about that more so

I replied:

Thank you on all fronts!

I actually put even more elaborate thought into Kirk’s name and cut most of the explanation out lol, so I’m glad it works and that you’re enjoying this deeply Anghraine™ dive into ST feelings.
anghraine: kirk stands behind an elderly man turned away from him; kirk's manner is severe and almost menacing while the old man (kodos the executioner) looks thoughtful (kirk and kodos)
Femslash Spirk scrap for today (at a point around the end of “The Conscience of the King”):

“I will admit,” said S’paak, “that I do not find the governor’s presumed fate a particularly grievous one, captain. I see no reason that skill at performance should exempt anyone from justice, much less someone guilty of Kodos’s crimes.”

Captain Kirk’s lips curved into an unconvincing approximation of her typical expression. “His skill at performance wasn’t the difficulty, unfortunately.”

S'paak could not help but wonder what Kirk would have done if events had not taken the matter out of her hands. Dr. McCoy could talk with Karidian’s own theatricality about blood and severed heads and vengeance, but Kirk had been cautious to the point of near folly. True, the Jessica Kirk of Tarsus IV had been a girl of thirteen, and the uncertainty of human memory made caution understandable. But the weight of evidence was so clear.

Even so, Kirk—a woman more prone to leveraging emotion than hiding its existence—had not fully succeeded in concealing her true thoughts. At least, not from S’paak. Kirk had gone from uncertain and reluctant to grim, fearless, admirably unfaltering. S’paak guessed that, in the end, Kirk would not have hesitated to personally consign Kodos to the fate he deserved had circumstances allowed for it. That was not an irrational vendetta, however bitter, but deserved and necessary.

“Those difficulties are past,” said S’paak, “thanks to you, with respect to both him and his daughter.”

“Not me alone. But thank you, I think,” said Kirk. She turned slightly away, though not before S’paak observed the uneven inhalation of her next breath, the quick, repeated flicker of her lashes. “Riley deserves more of your sympathy, though. He’s younger than me, lost more, and I ... I’ve always needed challenges to struggle against. Something to overcome.”

“I see no logical reason for starvation to be among those challenges,” said S’paak flatly, “nor the massacre of civilians, least of all when they are sent to death on no pretext except baseless pseudoscience.”

anghraine: t'pring from tos: she is a vulcan woman with dramatic, sparkly silver eyeshadow and dark hair in a tall, elaborate coiffure (t'pring)
Femslash Spirk update: I’ve been brainstorming how “Amok Time” would even work and am really entertained by one solution I came up with:
  • The child marriage of Spock and T'Pring becomes one between S'paak and Stonn, who is still infatuated with T'Pring in this universe.
  • T'Pring remains the architect of the homoerotic duel and it still happens; I think she has already dealt with her own husband in some fashion or another and S'paak is now the only obstacle between her and Stonn.
  • I’d feel weird about the incredible “Kirk gets slashed across the chest in just such a way as to reveal his nipples” scene happening exactly that way with Jessica; I think the result here is instead very AOTC Padmé.
  • I think S'paak is surprised and unwillingly impressed by Stonn being capable of such calculating reason as this scheme required, not expecting it of him, and is rather relieved to discover that the real mastermind was T'Pring and her judgment of him was not mistaken.
  • Spock’s icy line to Stonn about how he may not find T'Pring as enjoyable to live with as to pine after becomes a warning from S'paak to T'Pring about Stonn’s mediocrity.
anghraine: kirk and spock stare at each other in a turbolift on the enterprise; their shadows projected on the wall behind them are nearly touching (kirk/spock [turbolift])
Speaking of femslash Spirk genderbending name considerations:

I was really torn between how Spock is such a masculine-coded name by Vulcan norms that it feels weird to do nothing at all with it. But also, it’s so extremely iconic as THE name for THE character that an equally feminine-coded name like T'Pel or whatever would be super jarring (and distancing from the original character, I think—the potential in-world rationales for a character’s name are one consideration when I think about this stuff, but only one).

Also, Spock’s name predates the development of Vulcan as a language, and iirc, it’s also slightly odd as a Vulcan name these days (if I understand correctly, inconsistent orthographical representations and erratically silent letters are not at all usual). This does not even slightly bother me in terms of canon, but I thought a transliteration that looks more like “modern Vulcan” might preserve the basic sounds of the name while shifting pronunciation and appearance just enough to seem less specifically masculine.

Still, I was really tempted to try and make T’[whatever] work somehow with this. I feel like Sarek is the kind of person who might well insist upon a daughter having the prestige of the t'sai in her name, even if Amanda thought otherwise. But I couldn’t figure it out aesthetically, so instead I settled on S'paak. (I’m not 100% decided, but it’s the smoothest result thus far of my attempts to compromise between norms of Vulcan names and their components as more fully developed later, and the ultra-recognizable consonants of the original name.)

I’m also deciding how other crew members even address her, because “Miss S'paak” feels like a really weird and inappropriate way to refer to someone of her position and responsibilities, and yet this could at least be partly said of the canonical “Mr” as well. Maybe it’s just this era of Starfleet being relatively slack about this kind of thing, at least below the commanding officer’s rank? IDK, it’s not my impression, at least with regard to women.

Hmm, I checked, and Uhura is occasionally addressed as “Miss Uhura” but far more often as “Lieutenant Uhura” or just “Uhura.” Mira Romaine in “The Lights of Zetar” (which I watched not long ago) seemed to also be addressed by name as “Lieutenant Romaine” rather than “Miss Romaine.” OTOH Scotty is “Mr. Scott” quite often rather than addressed by rank, same for Sulu, etc, so maybe it’s more of a relic of the ultra-gendered dynamics and evolving world building of TOS… I’m still undecided tbh!
anghraine: kirk and spock stare at each other in a turbolift on the enterprise; their shadows projected on the wall behind them are nearly touching (kirk/spock [turbolift])
Further contemplated the femslash Spirk concept while I was going to sleep, inevitably, and concluded:
  • I am perfectly aware this has been done before in the last, you know, nearly 60 years of this ship’s towering fandom influence; I’ve definitely seen art and cosplay. However, I’m deliberately insulating myself from reading any other versions until the finer details are more nailed down in my own head.
  • McCoy is definitely still a man (specifically DeForest Kelley c. TOS) because it only later occurred to me that 1) thematically, I definitely prefer this trio as a mixed gender group and 2) the advocate for emotion and instinct and human warmth being a male doctor and the voice of logic and discipline being a woman and technically his superior pleases me greatly. I also like the McCoy-Kirk brotp as a male-female friendship that is intense, complex, and 100% platonic.
  • I’m still figuring out how Kirk being repeatedly menaced by the woman of the week would pan out with f!Kirk. With m!Kirk, it feels like the show pushes him having an irresistible appeal to women in general (regardless of the woman’s morality) that is in part where this ultimately comes from, but a) the show is also very concerned with matters of autonomy/violation mainly mediated through him as protagonist, and b) he’s got a lot of Odysseus tropes to him (among others) as a character that make his femme fatale allure and willingness to use it as a tool more interesting than as the inevitable fate of a female space captain. Also, even in a femslash context, it feels homophobic for it to always be women sexually harassing f!Kirk, especially considering just how far it goes in S3 (I think his first basically consensual kiss, in terms of both consent and all his faculties being online, is 16 episodes into the season, and that one is a result of deliberate deception; 18 episodes in, he has an actual if underwritten romance, but he's also being dangled by a third party before his love interest as a sort of glorified sex toy, though both he and the woman in question are allegedly truly in love, and at that point he's been raped at least once and I would argue twice, and had a purely non-con kiss and another that's dubcon at best).
  • Kirk’s going to be Jessica instead of my original idea of Deborah. I was thinking of what would be a sturdy, ordinary name in the Midwest comparable to James that would also abbreviate conveniently to a common short form (Jim / Deb / Jess). I wanted the shortened version to be something that could carry the emotional weight of Spock’s very occasional “Jim” without feeling that the nickname itself is more significant (gender-wise) than Jim is for a dude from Iowa. I also wanted to avoid the -y/-ie endings of so many English nicknames (sorry, Francophones). Deb seemed to work well, except I’d forgotten that I have a considerably older family friend who not only uses Deb (and is named Deborah) but happens to have very similar coloring and background to young Shatner. As I was plotting the femslash, the association with her felt increasingly weird and uncomfortable, so I switched to Jessica (chosen for reasons largely unrelated to it also beginning with J, but that helps!).
  • Does Jessica Kirk wear the miniskirt and go-go boots while issuing non-negotiable orders from her captain’s chair? Definitely.

Tagged: #i feel like jessica unironically loves the uniform and s'paak finds it deeply impractical for both of their positions #also the aesthetic is vaguely romulan and she doesn't care for that at all. except on kirk specifically for mysterious reasons #a mystery requiring further study obviously. lots of further study.
anghraine: kirk and spock stare at each other in a turbolift on the enterprise; their shadows projected on the wall behind them are nearly touching (kirk/spock [turbolift])
Technicallyyyyy it’s Thursday (12:28 AM!), but [personal profile] brynnmclean tagged me in WIP Wednesday (thank you!!!) and I dutifully worked on some other projects before giving up and following my heart.

And what my heart wanted was … well. Okay. Look, I know, I know, but nobody can be that surprised:

S’paak had no way of knowing which Starfleet officer would receive command of the Enterprise after Captain Pike’s promotion, if promotion it could be called. It must be called that, of course, by the wish of Captain Pike himself, and by what all evidence suggested was a collective agreement from the highest ranks of the service. Therefore, the captain was promoted, and soon she would answer to a different man.

She had no data to aid speculation as to the nature, character, or identity of the person who would replace Captain Pike, since nobody in the crew, including S’paak, was privy to their superiors’ deliberations. Accordingly, she did not join the other crew members in guesswork about their new captain, even in the privacy of her own quarters—or her own mind. After all, to a disciplined intellect, there was little difference between the two, and she did not know who was even under consideration. Contemplating the matter would not produce greater knowledge.

Even with no particular expectations or thoughts about the forthcoming captain of the Enterprise, she felt an unfamiliar trace of surprise when she received the actual notification about it. She, S’paak, would be first officer on the ship, and as such, had been granted priority status with regard to personnel changes. No one else on the crew yet knew the name of the chosen captain.

The privileges of seniority did not startle her. The identity of her captain did, a little.

S’paak considered the notification a second time.

Commanding officer of the USS
Enterprise: Kirk, Jessica T. (Cpt).

She knew virtually nothing of Captain Kirk, though the name sounded faintly familiar, enough that she thought it likely that she had heard it in some context in the past that had not struck her as worth committing to memory. A regrettable lapse, if easy enough to rectify with the many tools available to her. But S'paak had not expected that Starfleet would appoint a woman to Captain Pike’s position. Certainly not a young woman, as the (small and poor-quality) picture accompanying the name suggested Kirk was.

S’paak herself was not so illogical as to suppose that gender impeded a Starfleet officer’s capabilities in itself. But she had better reason than most to know that the practices of the Federation did not always resemble their ideals as closely as might be wished. Captain Kirk must have some unusual qualities, experiences, or connections—or some combination thereof—to rise so far at such an age.

“Fascinating,” S’paak murmured.

Tagged: #i would tag people but it's. uh. thursday #ALSO there is a method to the various choices made here i swear #also i am not AS hostile to post-tos sources as i am to the sweu etc but it's been years since i saw any of them #and i'm not concerned with accommodating long after the fact 'canon' material. this sparks joy (for me personally) and that is enough

[ETA 4/18/2025: After watching all the original ST movies, I feel more strongly than ever that ST is really many canons in a trenchcoat—engaging with each other but not actually compatible. This is especially the case with regard to Spock and Kirk, who take the biggest character arc hits via pop culture-ification and the soft reboot in even the original films, and only more over time (cf. the famous "Kirk Drift" article). I think movie Spock's arc is basically completely reset while defining him MUCH more by Vulcan culture throughout the films, but also swapping his and Kirk's TOS priorities pretty substantially. Kirk was often defined by The Good of the Many in TOS—few things infuriated him more than threats or harm to his crew, esp en masse—and I don't think it was TOS Spock's philosophy for a single moment. I also don't think that TOS Spock was truly all that normative as far as Vulcans are concerned; he often went out of his way to emphasize that he's half-human, his navigation of Vulcan identity was extremely fraught, and the function of that aspect of his arc was an attempt, however flawed, to engage with biracial problems specifically. So yeah, I super don't feel any need to bow to the movies or TNG or whatever, they're their own things—sometimes great, certainly engaging with TOS at times, but in an Aeneid to TOS's Iliad sort of way for me. And I do appreciate that ST historically has seemed less obsessed with welding a bunch of wildly disparate and not especially compatible projects into a single "canon."]
anghraine: kirk stands behind an elderly man turned away from him; kirk's manner is severe and almost menacing while the old man (kodos the executioner) looks thoughtful (kirk and kodos)
Speaking of my TOS watch, I’ve noticed that the writing for Kirk in particular has gotten sharply worse overall in S3 (also for other characters, but less obtrusively), yet when it’s good, it’s really satisfying.

I loved both Kirk and Spock in “For the World Is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky,” for instance. It’s a good episode in general (maybe one of the least awful about women in TOS) and a really nice McCoy episode as well, but I enjoy how Kirk and Spock are kind of confused about McCoy’s marriage but ultimately willing to support their friend. And it ends not only with McCoy’s cool wife surviving and becoming even more of a leader of her people than she was before (and this framed as unambiguously Good), but iirc Kirk and Spock prepared to make the occasional detour to her colony so McCoy can visit her without leaving his career behind. And while Spock was something of a flanderized dick in “That Which Survives” (if in a way that can easily be read in K/S terms), it’s got some very solid Kirk characterization:

MCCOY: Could it be the Enterprise hit the planet?
SULU: Once in Siberia, there was a meteor so great that it flattened whole forests and was felt as far away as—
KIRK: Mr. Sulu, if I'd wanted a Russian history lesson, I'd have brought along Mr. Chekov. This is a matter of survival, gentlemen. Without the Enterprise, we need food, and we need water, and we need them fast. I want a detailed analysis made of this planet, and I want it now.

Kirk [to Sulu]: Your report covers all vegetation?
Sulu: Yes, captain. All vegetation is inedible. Poison to us.
McCoy [to Kirk]: If the Enterprise has been destroyed, you know how long we can survive??
Kirk [grimly]: Yes. [pause] I don’t see any water, but there must be some to grow the vegetation. A source of water would stretch our survival. Did you see any evidence of rainfall?

Shatner doesn’t overplay the moment IMO, but there’s a quiet weight to Kirk being The Starvation Expert of the team given uhhhhh his personal history—and also the fact that this episode is one of few that (in a completely different scene) explicitly acknowledges other TOS episodes.

Tagged: #this single moment just feels so weighty and the way everyone defers to kirk not only as captain but as knowledgeable about survival #and how it's not overblown the way so much of s3 kirk is...whew. nice to see some good character choices here and there too #it /is/ wild to me that the jj abrams star trek gives kirk the most generic Troubled Youth backstory possible #when his canon backstory is infinitely worse. canon kirk survived starvation and the massacre of 4000 people in his colony at age 13 #and afterwards became a bullied nerd (established on multiple occasions!) until he found his true calling of commanding a starship #i get wanting to split into a different timeline etc etc but damn chris pine could have done something great with a more nuanced kirk #OH also. kirk seems to get more obligatory ''''romance'''' scenes than ever before in this season #but these relationships also seem much more often dubiously consensual at best on his side also #he's either a prisoner or an amnesiac or enthralled by a drug or whatever in them until literally episode 21. #in which he falls for rayna the robot #the relationship is terribly written but at least they're both allegedly choosing it (and even there flint is dangling kirk in front of her #like a sexy lure or something. batshit concept but they're definitely being manipulated - and still i think it's the most purely consensual #relationship that kirk has in the whole season thus far) #ngl him stranding deela to die without sharing the antidote and flying away was probably the most cathartic kirk dubcon plot conclusion #i'm predictably very tempted by femslash kirk/spock sometimes but it does feel that this would be more expected for f!kirk #anyway. weird trend in a weird season but it's nice when his backstory is remembered at all

[ETA from 4/6/2025 re: "tempted by femslash kirk/spock sometimes but" hahahahahahahahaha]

AO3 meme!

Jul. 2nd, 2024 03:54 pm
anghraine: elizabeth accepting darcy's proposal in "austen's pride" (darcy and elizabeth (austen's pride))
I am pretty sure I stole this from [personal profile] meridian_rose! I do love me a fic meme :D

Rules: go to your AO3 account and find the following:

1. What rating do you write most of your fics under?


Overwhelmingly general, at 165 out of 222 fics. This isn't that surprising—maybe a bit more than I expected, but I can be a bit skittish about romance for someone who likes it a lot.

2. What are your top three fandoms?

In a totally shocking twist: Star Wars, Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen, and Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien. The gap between the first two (tied at 67 fics each) and LOTR (27) is pretty vast, and the "real" #3 was the fandom tag for the SW original trilogy specifically. I know I often feel uncomfortable writing Tolkien fic, much more than Austen or SW, despite writing so much meta about Middle-earth, so again, this isn't a big surprise.

3. What is the top character you write about?

I am extremely sure this one is going to be Darcy!

Yup, it was! He's tagged in 53 fics to Elizabeth's 43, with Luke and Leia following closely at 39 and 34.

4. What are the top three pairings you write about?

The first is, of course, Darcy/Elizabeth, the unbeatable victor of all such contests when it comes to me. It has twenty more fics than the runner-up, which of course is Jyn/Cassian (a big gap, though Darcy/Elizabeth has the advantage of very considerable seniority; I wrote my first D/E fic in 2005, while Jyn and Cassian didn't even exist until 2016). The third most-common romantic pairing in my fics is ... honestly, I think it's got to be Cesare/Lucrezia from The Borgias. I know, I know! And yup, it's got 11 fics, trailing behind platonic Luke and Leia fics (12), Jyn/Cassian (19), and Darcy/Elizabeth (39).

5. What are the top three additional tags?

I wondered if the "always a different sex" tag would hit the top three, but let's see ... actually, no! It's only at #4, following from three rather boring winners. My most common additional tag is "Canon Compliant" (71), "One Shot" (66), and "Drabble" (39). I'm guessing there is quite a lot of overlap between these. The only specific premises or subjects to appear in any of the top ten are the genderbending tags (these days I typically use "Always A Different Sex" but I used to use the vaguer "Gender Changes" tag) and the "Brother-Sister Relationships" tag. If there isn't overlap between the two genderbending tags, together they would actually beat out "Drabble" (the usual tag has 37 fics and the old one 14).

6. Did any of this surprise you?

LOL, not really. I am what I am.

Tagging: [personal profile] croclock, [personal profile] alias_sqbr, [personal profile] sixbeforelunch, [personal profile] elperian, [personal profile] brynnmclean, [personal profile] heckofabecca, [personal profile] incognitajones, and [personal profile] lizbee, if any of you want to do it!

anghraine: a female luke skywalker under the twin suns of tatooine from a painting by ralph mcquarrie (lucy (binary suns))
Truly trivial complaints:

My birthday is coming up (the ides of March!!) and it’s a Significant Age, so people are like … you need to make a list so we have some idea of what to give you for the Significant Birthday!

Which is fair, but these days, the things I want are like … “my longtime best friend to live in the PNW again” and “my prelims to be over” and “a book cover for my perpetually unfinished novel” and “Amazon to do well by Númenor” and “a sudden desire to eat vegetables.”

I mean, there are plenty of things that occur to me in passing, but when it comes down to making a list, they all flee my mind and … ???

Tagged: #i know there are things other than money that i want #i just can't think of most of them #and the ones i can think of are prohibitively expensive so i wouldn't actually ask #hmm #hmmmmm #gw2 costumes? i'm not playing at the moment but i love them and am feeling like going back #but it seems a kind of trivial thing #i've thought one of those genetic tests would be fun but a) they're expensive and b) i know exactly where my ancestors are from #seriously though if i could pick any actually-possible thing it /would/ be money for art commissions #not just the novel ... like althea and logan or fíriel and éowyn or lucy and vader or the aasimar au or my d&d warlock ororor #this is what comes of having art ideas but no ability lol #but i can't really ask the people in my life for that #uhhhh #i don't want to read anything rn so the old reliable of books/bookstore gift cards is kind of out #cooler dice? i don't know!!
anghraine: simone ashley as kate sharma; text: catherine darcy (catherine darcy [simone])
I'm taking a brief break from my dissertation to ... uh, amuse myself by figuring out my readers' ranking of my genderbending fics on AO3.

Rules I'm applying: 1) I'm only including fic verses that are collectively at least 2000 words long because, well, I do have to go back to the diss, 2) verses comprised of multiple fics are ranked according to either the popularity of the series as a whole or the most popular individual fic (depending on which is higher; not combining them because there's a lot of overlap), 3) I'm considering both bookmarks and kudos in my judgment—we'll see if it makes a difference, and 4) I'm ignoring everything with less than 30 kudos and 5 bookmarks.

1. First Impressions | 215 bookmarks | 876 kudos | genderbent characters: Elizabeth Bennet (-> Henry Bennet) and Fitzwilliam Darcy (-> Catherine Darcy)

This is a genderswapped retelling of Pride and Prejudice set in its original period (not really a true "what if"). All stats are specifically for the original (completed) 36k fic. It individually beats out every possible stat for every other fic in the series as well as the series as a whole. (Note: The overall series is 44k words long.)

2. Lucy Skywalker series | 163 bookmarks | 406 kudos (The Jedi and the Sith Lord) | genderbent characters: Luke Skywalker (-> Lucy Skywalker)

This is a genderbent AU that mostly, but not completely, sticks to the rails of canon until the end of the ESB timeline, at which point it swerves into the "real" AU. The Jedi and the Sith Lord is the sequel to The Imperial Menace/the ESB plot, and the third fic in the main series, focusing on the consequences of Vader capturing Lucy. It's technically completed at 70k, but only in the sense that it explores what happens to/with Lucy and Vader until the nature of her captivity fundamentally changes, and everything after that will be a separate fic but hasn't been written yet. Although none of the individual fics have as many bookmarks as the series as a whole, my #2, #3, and #4 most bookmarked genderbent fics are all for the Lucyverse. (Note: the overall series is 129k words long.)

3. Love, Pride & Delicacy | 25 bookmarks | 163 kudos | genderbent characters: Fitzwilliam Darcy (-> Catherine Darcy, for convenience)

This is an actual Elizabeth/f!Darcy "what if" femslash AU rather than a retelling, though a slow one—it's still early in the overall story at 25k. It's also placed in the original P&P setting. There is no wider series.

4. The Lady of Gondor | 25 bookmarks | 119 kudos (we also are daughters of the great) | genderbent characters: Faramir (-> Fíriel)

This is a deeply self-indulgent Aragorn/f!Faramir/Éowyn AU, though it's not only a WIP but split into different vaguely related fics (some of which are also WIPs!) about some aspect of the verse in relation to Fíriel. I think the norms of Gondor and Middle-earth make the gender change particularly significant (in some ways more than any other verse), so actual plot and relationship changes tend to be the focus. The kudos are for the specific linked fic, which is a WIP at nearly 5k and the most Éowyn-centric of them. (Note: the overall series is about 9.5k words long.)

5. The Edge of Darkness | 17 bookmarks | 106 kudos | genderbent characters: Tarrlok (-> Taraka)

This is a genderbent f!Tarrlok AU, though told entirely from Noatak/Amon's perspective, and to some extent more about the impact on him than on Taraka herself (though she's extremely important to the fic). Even more than that, the linked fic is focused on the effect of the change on their family dynamics as children, until teenage Noatak leaves her behind per canon. The fic can look like a retelling à la First Impressions, since the basic plot points don't change, but the larger series is on course to swerve into full "what if" territory as well. However, like First Impressions, these stats are all for the completed opening fic (18k) and not the longer WIP series (32k), which is temporarily paused at the point where 37-year-old Taraka openly identifies Amon as Noatak. CW: child abuse.

6. Blood and Fire | 16 bookmarks | 67 kudos | genderbent characters: Tarrlok (-> Taraka) and Noatak (-> Nataka)

This is a dark(er) AU of The Edge of Darkness in which Noatak/Amon is also genderbent, and the bloodbending siblings never separated. Taraka fled home with Nataka back in the day, they only grew closer (...too close), and although Taraka still ended up on the Republic City council, her true loyalty is to Amon. She promptly turns Korra over when Amon shows up, which is where the fic begins; it's told entirely through Korra's attempts to navigate her circumstances as a prisoner of the Equalists. CW: incest, complicated F/F/F dubcon??? emotional bonding kink with occasional violence yet little overt romance and no sex. I am what I am. The stats are for the completed (though deliberately ambiguous) main fic, which is 10k, and not the side fics or the series as a whole (13k).

7. The Queer Rogue One AU | 12 bookmarks | 57 kudos (the words we've both fallen under) | genderbent characters: Cassian Andor (-> Cassia Andor)

This is, on one level, a relatively straightforward genderbent!Cassian AU that is more or less complete at 13k. The underlying concepts are: a) what if my male fave was a hot lesbian and my ship was f/f and b) what if we headcanon every single member of the main team as queer in some capacity :D and c) the SW universe is so blatantly patriarchal in the films that it's a particularly interesting setting for exploring the effects of the gender change on someone like Cassia, a female revolutionary and spy :D :D. It's a little challenging to properly evaluate where it sits wrt stats because I revised the scattered, vaguely connected scraps of the universe into a single fic through both sentence-level revisions and significant additions, but that revision is only on Tumblr (where the link currently goes to, sorry) and my GoogleDrive, not AO3. It's not even a series in my heart! But it is on AO3. Evaluate as you will, but when I finally get around to converting the AO3 version to the correct format this may or may not change. For now this is where it goes by AO3 stats.

8. Daughters of Númenor series | 5 bookmarks | 33 kudos (the voices of the sea) | genderbent characters: all Númenórean throwbacks in LOTR, but specifically Aragorn (-> Aranor), Faramir (-> Míriel), Denethor (-> Andreth), and Imrahil (-> Imraphel)

As might be guessed, this is an AU where every Númenórean throwback mentioned in LOTR is genderbent (in the backstory, this also includes Ivriniel and Finduilas of Dol Amroth, who become Túrin, Prince of Dol Amroth, and Gwindor of Dol Amroth). It's Aranor/Míriel and definitely focused on them despite the broader change (where Arwen is a non-factor for the OT3 in The Lady of Gondor because she went to Valinor with Celebrían, she actually is present in Middle-earth in this series, though unfortunately very straight). While Fíriel in The Lady of Gondor was never expected to be a warrior and gets on reasonably well with Denethor, this AU is more about the broader effects—so even though we rarely see f!Denethor/Andreth, it's significant that she was a trailblazer as a female warrior, loremaster, and ultimately the first female ruler of Gondor, inadvertently laying a foundation that Aranor could build on later (which would have horrified Andreth herself!). The specific fic with the most kudos in the series, linked above, is a nearly 2k fic about the effect of Faramir's canonical visions on Míriel. (Note: the overall series is currently 3k words long.)
anghraine: a bg3 female half-elf cleric with messy wavy hair and a serious expression (larissa (semi-profile))
Digging up the links to so many DW tags got me wondering what tags I've actually used more than any others over here. It will probably look different after I'm done cross-posting, and maybe I'll check again then. But as of right now, the evening of 29 April 2024, this is every tag I've used over 100 times since my first post on 19 July 2009—

A. Tags used over 500 times:

1. #site: tumblr

This is far and away my most commonly used tag (used 1739 times), mainly because I've been cross-posting old Tumblr posts to Dreamwidth for years now, but also because I use it for every post referring to basically anything going on at Tumblr as well as the cross-posts.

2. #fandom: star wars

This feels like the "real" #1 tag, used 668 times and beating out all other fandoms (and indeed, everything). I suspect this is partly because I got into SW after making my DW account, but at a time when journal fandom was still quite active, so one of my most intense periods of SW fannishness was based here (or synced with lj, so the content is here as well). And then when you add in SW cross-posts and "overflow" material from Tumblr once Disney SW got kicking, especially after Rogue One, it's enough for the SW tag to jump ahead of every other tag but the Tumblr one.

3. #genre: meta

I periodically whine about feeling like I'm perceived more as a meta writer than a fic writer, even though I care more about fic and derive far more joy from it ... but I've tagged 667 posts with the meta tag and far less with any fic-related tag. In fairness, I originally conceived as "meta" as basically any post talking about a canon or fandom that wasn't fic, no matter how abrupt, so things I wouldn't really describe as "meta" these days fell under the tag until pretty recently. Even so, I've posted a lot more serious meta than fic!

4. #fandom: austen

The only surprise here is that this one wasn't even higher. I've tagged 640 posts with it over the years, and if you've followed me on Tumblr for awhile, you know there's only more coming. I'm pretty sure it'll beat out SW in the end for sheer quantity.

5. #fandom: middle-earth

While the previous three tags are clustered pretty closely together, there's a jump from the 640 Austen posts to a mere 505 Tolkien posts. This is partly because a bunch of my Tolkien stuff never made it onto Dreamwidth (that is, it happened on sites that are now dead or on lj before Dreamwidth was ever founded, or much later, was posted over at Tumblr and much of it hasn't made its way back over here). It's still one of my biggest fandoms, obviously; SW, Austen, and Tolkien will probably always be the Big Three for me.

Read more... )
anghraine: a photo of emilie de ravin (a blonde, blue-eyed woman); text: lucy (lucy (emilie))
Silliness over AO3 stats:

The first part of my Lucy Skywalker series (a linked series of genderbent f!Luke fics) has always been the most popular of the main series. It's less so in kudos, but definitely leads in bookmarks (the first, The Adventures of Lucy Skywalker, has 48 bookmarks [ETA 3/24/2024: now 53], while the second, The Imperial Menace, has 20 [ETA: now 24]), and The Imperial Menace has way fewer hits, too.

I guess it’s a positive that The Imperial Menace has nearly as many kudos as Adventures does: 242 for The Imperial Menace [ETA: now 288] to Adventures’s 260 [ETA: now 323]) despite significantly fewer people reading it at all. But still. And I do think Adventures is much more flawed in some ways (The Imperial Menace has its problems, but different ones that bother me less). So I’ve been low-grade HMPH even though I hated writing 85% of The Imperial Menace.

BUUUUT

After years and years, I got a burst of inspiration to go back to working on the third fic in the main series, The Jedi and the Sith Lord, in early 2020 (which feels like a lifetime ago and, also, yesterday). And I’m a lot happier with it than with any of the other Lucy fics, and wrote a ton of it all at once (I think it had two chapters when I went back and it now has 20).

AND!!!! It has way more hits than The Imperial Menace even though it’s also a sequel (maybe because it has a clearer if very short summary—“Lucy emerges from carbon-freeze as the captive of Darth Vader”—and also splits off from canon in a much more significant way). But it has a bunch more kudos than Adventures (325 [ETA: now 405]), more bookmarks, probably three times as many comments [ETA: now 289 to 51, though both are affected by my responses], and it’s like … FOR ONCE the thing that I personally like best and worked hardest on is also the one that readers like the most! Yay! :D

…like I said, silliness, but it is nice to get that alignment happening on a fic that I care a lot about.

Tagged: #also the collective lucyverse fics are now over 100k thanks to 'the jedi and the sith lord's 67k(!) #which i'm ridiculously happy about
anghraine: jyn erso during the jedha mission (shoulders up) (jyn [jedha])
A few people responded to the f!Cassian/Jyn fic referenced here. That was a reblog of the original post and it's a little difficult to determine when people originally responded, so I'm just putting all the responses to the original prayers and proclamations post here:

rain-sleet-snow said:

<3 <3 <3

[personal profile] elperian reblogged it and added:

#yessssss #go read it now!  

[personal profile] brynnmclean tagged it:

#oh good!

oh-nostalgiaa tagged it:

#yessss so good

And [personal profile] incognitajones responded:

ah, thank you for the lovely flashback!

I replied:

Thank you!!

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anghraine: vader extending his lightsaber; text: and now for the airing of grievances! (Default)
Anghraine

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