Revenge of the Sith
Aug. 8th, 2010 10:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
anghraineSo, I've just finished watching the prequel trilogy.
Overall, I still dislike it, though I do agree that ROTS was by far the best of the prequels. The dialogue was somewhat less cringe-worthy (and by somewhat I mean ... somewhat) and I actually enjoyed the first twenty minutes or so. It was actually possible to follow the plot -- I knew what was going on, who was involved, and why it was happening. The Jedi Order didn't seem quite as criminally negligent, Obi-Wan was a decent human being until the end, and I actually cared about it all. And, of course, it was nice to see the most iconic badass to ever appear on film as at least marginally competent.
Note: I don't object to Anakin being a whiny teenager. Luke was a whiny teenager, and that was fine, because it just made him more awesome when he wasn't one anymore. He's his own foil, like Hal! Only sincere. But (1) he was absolutely convincing as a whiny teenager, and (2) badass!Luke followed naturally from whiny!Luke -- as petulant he was at the beginning of ANH, it wasn't his only quality, and those other ones laid the foundation for the progression of his character arc.
When prequel!Anakin complains, he himself doesn't seem to believe that his complaints are important. I giggled through most of AOTC because it was just so incoherent and unconvincing -- right up until the moment when he stepped out of Shmi's tent (well, the tent where she died) and lit his lightsabre. And then I went "... oh shit oh shit they captured the wrong Jedi's mum crap crap crap" because prequel!Anakin manages to convey mentally unhinged menace quite well.
And then it was back to laughably nonsensical claptrap, and all the more so because the creepy!Anakin bits did work. But they seem to come out of nowhere.
Anyway, he worked better in ROTS because, presumably, Anakin manages 'disturbed but menacing badass' much more convincingly than 'innocent if stroppy teenage boy' and was called upon to do so. However, it also made him creepier, since that's the only part that came across as genuine, and I'm not clear on why anybody was terribly surprised at his fall. It's like:
AOTC!Anakin: I slaughtered children.
AOTC!Padmé: That's okay, everybody gets angry sometimes.
ROTS!Anakin: I slaughtered children.
ROTS!Padmé: How could you? What's happened to you, Anakin? You've changed SO MUCH!!!
ROTS!Anakin: ???
Other thoughts re: the prequels:
-- Lightsabres fights have somehow got progressively less cool. I expect it's the whole 'less is more' thing -- I was thrilled at the beginning of TPM, but by the whole battle at Geonosis, it was kind of 'yaaawaaawn.' This is sad, because lightsabres are awesome.
-- There were so many Idiot Plot elements that I kept expecting my brain to crash. Particularly the clone army conspiracy thing. Let me see if I can summarise:
(1) Padmé Amidala, the driving force behind the Senate's opposition to the creation of a Republic army, is subject to repeated assassination attempts.
(2) When the assassin is captured and about to reveal what she knows, an unknown bounty hunter shoots some kind of dart at her and flies away. The dart is from Kamino.
(3) When they look for Kamino in the Jedi database, they find that all records of its existence have been erased by a renegade Jedi.
(4) When Obi-Wan goes to Kamino, he finds that a renegade Jedi issued orders ten years prior to create a clone army.
(5) The template for the clones is a bounty hunter. He's in league with the Separatists and attacks Obi-Wan.
(6) The Separatist leader is a renegade Jedi.
CLEARLY THESE THINGS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH EACH OTHER. And there is no conspiracy to create a clone army. Nuh-uh. No way. Actually, we were just needing an army, so we don't we just drop by and pick it up, since our shadowy enemies have so obligingly created one for us?
Palpatine schemes circles around them not because he's an evil genius, but because he has a modicum of intelligence. Gaaaaaah!
-- What do the Sith want revenge for? We're not even that clear on what they are, except that 'Darth' is now some kind of title. Also, they do not appear to come in sane. Anakin, who seems to have progressed from 'wildly erratic adolescent' to 'reasonably effective Jedi Knight' goes completely off the rails in ... five minutes? Something? Maul was completely batshit, while Palpatine has but a thin layer of composure over the cackling madman within. Dooku is pretty much the sanest one among them, and even he doesn't make that much sense.
-- I'm not sure what the Separatists even want, except -- you know, secession. And given the Republic, it's kind of hard to blame them for that. Are they harming anyone until Obi-Wan blunders into ... whatever it was?
-- In what way are the Jedi the guardians of peace and justice? Taxation and border disputes? Their specialty! Slavery? Pfft, not their problem.
-- LOL Palpatine
-- Padmé was ... gah. Okay, I really did like her in TPM. Even accepting the sheer ludicrousness of a fourteen-year-old elected queen, she had a personality, she was kind, strong-willed, decisive, and generally cool. I had high hopes for her character, even if everything else went to pot. Okay, it didn't exactly gel with Leia's vague memories in Jedi, but continuity obviously wasn't the priority here. And then --
OMG.
OMG!
OMG what a mess. It goes beyond bad characterisation. It's like someone took one halfway decent character and two completely different, ill-defined ones and created an amalgamation of all three. (Or, alternatively, that she was originally an NPC in an RPG but was then promoted to PC and played by someone unlike the GM in every conceivable way.)
<rant>
So, we begin with the reasonable, driven Padmé of TPM. Ten years later, she has become a senator but seems otherwise the same. We hear about her activity in the Senate -- awesome. She refuses to abandon her bill much like she was less than thrilled about abandoning the Naboo in TPM. And then this dovetails into a completely incomprehensible love story.
As far as I can follow it, the tale of their epic love goes like this:
young!Anakin: *awestruck by the beauty and badassery of young!Padmé*
young!Padmé: Nice kid. Now what shall I do, since I've pwned my enemies and my term is just about up? Oh, I know. Galactic Senate.
[ten years later.]
Anakin [even more awestruck]: *flirts ineptly*
Padmé: LOL
Anakin: *stares*
Padmé: Don't look at me like that.
Anakin [*confused*]: Why not?
Padmé: You're making me uncomfortable.
At this point, I was pretty gung-ho at the whole thing. I loved that she's older and more mature and he's the ingenue, that her response to his obvious, natural and completely inappropriate crush is to quickly and firmly quash it, and that her discomfort is presented as more than sufficient justification to tell him to stop ogling and pedestal-ising her. She's awesome, and he's adorably awkward.
But then, alas, it then careened into a land of batshittery from which there could be no escape.
Padmé: *complains, somewhat reasonably*
Anakin: *complains, somewhat unreasonably*
Padmé: *eats prettily*
Anakin: *shows off. with telekinesis.*
Padmé: *giggles*
Anakin: *adores*
Me: Uh? Well, I guess she's just -- ignoring the crush while remaining friendly. His feelings aren't her responsibility, after all.
Padmé: blah blah water is pretty blah blah
Anakin: Everything here is so smooth and soft and watery. Not like home. *hesitantly touches her bare back* I ... don't like sand.
Padmé: ???
Me: ???
Anakin: It's rough and dirty and gets everywhere!
Me: WTF?
Anakin: But you're not sandy, Padmé. *kisses*
Padmé: *kisses back*
Me: Um? Well, he is very pretty. Maybe she has some kind of repressed attraction to him or something.
Padmé: We can't do this!
Anakin: Er, okay.
[later, on a field]
Padmé: You don't like politicians?
Anakin: The system doesn't work. People should get together and decide what to do and then just do it.
Padmé: That's exactly what it does! It's just the deciding step that takes ... awhile. People don't always agree.
Anakin: Well, someone should make them agree!
Me: Ooh, a philosopher-king! The Republic could be like Plato's Republic! Oh wait, this is Star Wars. It'll be more topical than that. When did this come out, again? I think I was in high school ... let's see, before or after 9/11?
Padmé: Like you?
Anakin: Ahahahaha. No. Somebody wise and noble blah blah blah.
Padmé: That sounds kind of fascist.
Anakin: If it works, who cares?
*beat*
Padmé: You're laughing at me!
Anakin: LOL
Me: Uh, he's laughing at your Srs Bznz approach to life. He's not joking.
[they frolic and she rolls around in the meadow with him.]
Me: What.
No, seriously. She's a twenty-four-year-old politician on an idyllic retreat with her superpowered bodyguard who happens to be (1) a teenager, (2) increasingly infatuated with her, and (3) cloistered in a religious order from the age of nine. Again, she's not responsible for what he feels for her, but there's friendly and then there's sprawling across his body and rolling around in the grass. As far as we know his feelings are one-sided except for some subliminal attraction she's openly and unambiguously rejected, so she's just ... leading him on? For the lulz? Not cool.
Or has she changed her mind? Is she infatuated/in love with him now? I can't really see why. I mean, 'whining adolescent fascist' doesn't exactly scream "lovable." He's tall and good-looking -- is that all? Or maybe unstinting adoration is the way to her heart? Or perhaps there are a bunch of unwritten scenes where their relationship actually developed, like all those incidents in Obi-Wan and Anakin's supposedly great friendship that we never see?
[in the villa or whatever it is, in front of a fireplace. Padmé is apparently opting for the Catwoman look -- no, really, it's this black corset ... thing that looks nothing like the frilly elegant gowns she's been wearing for all their other scenes. It's either pure Fanservice, or she's planning on seducing him. Or both.]
Anakin [stumblingly]: I love you. I'm in agony! I think about you all the time! I can't breathe when I'm around you!
Me: I ... think he may be allergic to her perfume?
Padmé: No, Anakin, it's impossible. I'm a senator.
Me: So ... the problem's not that he's a Jedi and she's not more than superficially interested in him anyway, it's that she's a senator. Are they not allowed to marry either?
Padmé: It doesn't matter what we feel for each other! Our love can never be! We must pretend it doesn't exist!
Me: Wait, what?
Anakin: Wait, what?
Padmé: We must never mention this again.
Anakin: But--
Padmé: Shhht.
[much later, as they're about to be executed]
Padmé: I love you!
Anakin: I thought we weren't going to talk about that.
Padmé: If we're going to die anyway, I don't see that it matters.
Anakin: I love you too.
[*they kiss and go off to meet their doom*]
[*Player 1 apparently managed to wrest back control of Padmé for the Geonosis scenes, yay*]
[after they survive, delaying their doom by about a year, they return to Naboo]
clergyman of some kind: blah blah blah I pronounce you husband and wife.
Padmé and Anakin: *married*
Me: I do not understand anything that has just happened.
[*one kind of awesome battle later*]
Padmé: Something has happened.
Anakin: Ack!
Padmé: I'm pregnant.
Anakin: Awesome!
[*they kiss, sekritly*]
Me: Aww.
[*through various events, Anakin ends up doing horrible things. Aforementioned scene, where she's shocked that her mass-murderer husband committed mass murder, takes place.]
Anakin: This is the only way I can save you and the baby. Don't worry, it'll be fine. I'll save you and then we can overthrow Palpatine! You can be Empress of the galaxy! ... and handle the administrative details.
Padmé: Uh, NO. When did you pick up these shockingly horrible ideas?
Anakin: ... I don't follow.
Padmé: You're so different! I don't even know you any more!
Anakin: GAAAAAH *Force-chokes*
Me: So ... he did all this to save her life ... and now, like, twenty-four hours later, he's killing her. Because ... I don't even know why. I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
[*three amputations and two births later*]
Droid: She's dying even though there's no medical reason for her to be dying. It must be A BROKEN HEART.
Me: What.
Padmé: I may have been formerly kickass, but I now have NOTHING worth living for without my man! Including my planet, my political agenda, my efforts to undermine the Empire, and the protection of my dangerously Force-sensitive children! Who are also Darth Vader's children! *dies*
Me: What.
Anakin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Me: What.
----------------------
That is both an irritating and a depressing note to end on. Mostly, it makes me want to write fic. (Technically) AU fic that's compliant with the continuity and backstory established in ANH and ESB, since (for me, subjectively, blah blah blah) the prequels really aren't, and run with it outside of the Ten Facts marathon. I don't remember all the OT details though -- I wasn't really watching for that when I want on my binge last month.
Tragically, I may be forced tocleanse my brain watch the OT again, in the light of the prequels, but also pretending they don't exist. (Contradictions 'R Us!) I can do a close reading consider the background details found in ANH and ESB and make up a coherent backstory and for me, this will be fun.
Besides, my summer holidays begin after this week. It will be like a fandom vacation!
Overall, I still dislike it, though I do agree that ROTS was by far the best of the prequels. The dialogue was somewhat less cringe-worthy (and by somewhat I mean ... somewhat) and I actually enjoyed the first twenty minutes or so. It was actually possible to follow the plot -- I knew what was going on, who was involved, and why it was happening. The Jedi Order didn't seem quite as criminally negligent, Obi-Wan was a decent human being until the end, and I actually cared about it all. And, of course, it was nice to see the most iconic badass to ever appear on film as at least marginally competent.
Note: I don't object to Anakin being a whiny teenager. Luke was a whiny teenager, and that was fine, because it just made him more awesome when he wasn't one anymore. He's his own foil, like Hal! Only sincere. But (1) he was absolutely convincing as a whiny teenager, and (2) badass!Luke followed naturally from whiny!Luke -- as petulant he was at the beginning of ANH, it wasn't his only quality, and those other ones laid the foundation for the progression of his character arc.
When prequel!Anakin complains, he himself doesn't seem to believe that his complaints are important. I giggled through most of AOTC because it was just so incoherent and unconvincing -- right up until the moment when he stepped out of Shmi's tent (well, the tent where she died) and lit his lightsabre. And then I went "... oh shit oh shit they captured the wrong Jedi's mum crap crap crap" because prequel!Anakin manages to convey mentally unhinged menace quite well.
And then it was back to laughably nonsensical claptrap, and all the more so because the creepy!Anakin bits did work. But they seem to come out of nowhere.
Anyway, he worked better in ROTS because, presumably, Anakin manages 'disturbed but menacing badass' much more convincingly than 'innocent if stroppy teenage boy' and was called upon to do so. However, it also made him creepier, since that's the only part that came across as genuine, and I'm not clear on why anybody was terribly surprised at his fall. It's like:
AOTC!Anakin: I slaughtered children.
AOTC!Padmé: That's okay, everybody gets angry sometimes.
ROTS!Anakin: I slaughtered children.
ROTS!Padmé: How could you? What's happened to you, Anakin? You've changed SO MUCH!!!
ROTS!Anakin: ???
Other thoughts re: the prequels:
-- Lightsabres fights have somehow got progressively less cool. I expect it's the whole 'less is more' thing -- I was thrilled at the beginning of TPM, but by the whole battle at Geonosis, it was kind of 'yaaawaaawn.' This is sad, because lightsabres are awesome.
-- There were so many Idiot Plot elements that I kept expecting my brain to crash. Particularly the clone army conspiracy thing. Let me see if I can summarise:
(1) Padmé Amidala, the driving force behind the Senate's opposition to the creation of a Republic army, is subject to repeated assassination attempts.
(2) When the assassin is captured and about to reveal what she knows, an unknown bounty hunter shoots some kind of dart at her and flies away. The dart is from Kamino.
(3) When they look for Kamino in the Jedi database, they find that all records of its existence have been erased by a renegade Jedi.
(4) When Obi-Wan goes to Kamino, he finds that a renegade Jedi issued orders ten years prior to create a clone army.
(5) The template for the clones is a bounty hunter. He's in league with the Separatists and attacks Obi-Wan.
(6) The Separatist leader is a renegade Jedi.
CLEARLY THESE THINGS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH EACH OTHER. And there is no conspiracy to create a clone army. Nuh-uh. No way. Actually, we were just needing an army, so we don't we just drop by and pick it up, since our shadowy enemies have so obligingly created one for us?
Palpatine schemes circles around them not because he's an evil genius, but because he has a modicum of intelligence. Gaaaaaah!
-- What do the Sith want revenge for? We're not even that clear on what they are, except that 'Darth' is now some kind of title. Also, they do not appear to come in sane. Anakin, who seems to have progressed from 'wildly erratic adolescent' to 'reasonably effective Jedi Knight' goes completely off the rails in ... five minutes? Something? Maul was completely batshit, while Palpatine has but a thin layer of composure over the cackling madman within. Dooku is pretty much the sanest one among them, and even he doesn't make that much sense.
-- I'm not sure what the Separatists even want, except -- you know, secession. And given the Republic, it's kind of hard to blame them for that. Are they harming anyone until Obi-Wan blunders into ... whatever it was?
-- In what way are the Jedi the guardians of peace and justice? Taxation and border disputes? Their specialty! Slavery? Pfft, not their problem.
-- LOL Palpatine
-- Padmé was ... gah. Okay, I really did like her in TPM. Even accepting the sheer ludicrousness of a fourteen-year-old elected queen, she had a personality, she was kind, strong-willed, decisive, and generally cool. I had high hopes for her character, even if everything else went to pot. Okay, it didn't exactly gel with Leia's vague memories in Jedi, but continuity obviously wasn't the priority here. And then --
OMG.
OMG!
OMG what a mess. It goes beyond bad characterisation. It's like someone took one halfway decent character and two completely different, ill-defined ones and created an amalgamation of all three. (Or, alternatively, that she was originally an NPC in an RPG but was then promoted to PC and played by someone unlike the GM in every conceivable way.)
<rant>
So, we begin with the reasonable, driven Padmé of TPM. Ten years later, she has become a senator but seems otherwise the same. We hear about her activity in the Senate -- awesome. She refuses to abandon her bill much like she was less than thrilled about abandoning the Naboo in TPM. And then this dovetails into a completely incomprehensible love story.
As far as I can follow it, the tale of their epic love goes like this:
young!Anakin: *awestruck by the beauty and badassery of young!Padmé*
young!Padmé: Nice kid. Now what shall I do, since I've pwned my enemies and my term is just about up? Oh, I know. Galactic Senate.
[ten years later.]
Anakin [even more awestruck]: *flirts ineptly*
Padmé: LOL
Anakin: *stares*
Padmé: Don't look at me like that.
Anakin [*confused*]: Why not?
Padmé: You're making me uncomfortable.
At this point, I was pretty gung-ho at the whole thing. I loved that she's older and more mature and he's the ingenue, that her response to his obvious, natural and completely inappropriate crush is to quickly and firmly quash it, and that her discomfort is presented as more than sufficient justification to tell him to stop ogling and pedestal-ising her. She's awesome, and he's adorably awkward.
But then, alas, it then careened into a land of batshittery from which there could be no escape.
Padmé: *complains, somewhat reasonably*
Anakin: *complains, somewhat unreasonably*
Padmé: *eats prettily*
Anakin: *shows off. with telekinesis.*
Padmé: *giggles*
Anakin: *adores*
Me: Uh? Well, I guess she's just -- ignoring the crush while remaining friendly. His feelings aren't her responsibility, after all.
Padmé: blah blah water is pretty blah blah
Anakin: Everything here is so smooth and soft and watery. Not like home. *hesitantly touches her bare back* I ... don't like sand.
Padmé: ???
Me: ???
Anakin: It's rough and dirty and gets everywhere!
Me: WTF?
Anakin: But you're not sandy, Padmé. *kisses*
Padmé: *kisses back*
Me: Um? Well, he is very pretty. Maybe she has some kind of repressed attraction to him or something.
Padmé: We can't do this!
Anakin: Er, okay.
[later, on a field]
Padmé: You don't like politicians?
Anakin: The system doesn't work. People should get together and decide what to do and then just do it.
Padmé: That's exactly what it does! It's just the deciding step that takes ... awhile. People don't always agree.
Anakin: Well, someone should make them agree!
Me: Ooh, a philosopher-king! The Republic could be like Plato's Republic! Oh wait, this is Star Wars. It'll be more topical than that. When did this come out, again? I think I was in high school ... let's see, before or after 9/11?
Padmé: Like you?
Anakin: Ahahahaha. No. Somebody wise and noble blah blah blah.
Padmé: That sounds kind of fascist.
Anakin: If it works, who cares?
*beat*
Padmé: You're laughing at me!
Anakin: LOL
Me: Uh, he's laughing at your Srs Bznz approach to life. He's not joking.
[they frolic and she rolls around in the meadow with him.]
Me: What.
No, seriously. She's a twenty-four-year-old politician on an idyllic retreat with her superpowered bodyguard who happens to be (1) a teenager, (2) increasingly infatuated with her, and (3) cloistered in a religious order from the age of nine. Again, she's not responsible for what he feels for her, but there's friendly and then there's sprawling across his body and rolling around in the grass. As far as we know his feelings are one-sided except for some subliminal attraction she's openly and unambiguously rejected, so she's just ... leading him on? For the lulz? Not cool.
Or has she changed her mind? Is she infatuated/in love with him now? I can't really see why. I mean, 'whining adolescent fascist' doesn't exactly scream "lovable." He's tall and good-looking -- is that all? Or maybe unstinting adoration is the way to her heart? Or perhaps there are a bunch of unwritten scenes where their relationship actually developed, like all those incidents in Obi-Wan and Anakin's supposedly great friendship that we never see?
[in the villa or whatever it is, in front of a fireplace. Padmé is apparently opting for the Catwoman look -- no, really, it's this black corset ... thing that looks nothing like the frilly elegant gowns she's been wearing for all their other scenes. It's either pure Fanservice, or she's planning on seducing him. Or both.]
Anakin [stumblingly]: I love you. I'm in agony! I think about you all the time! I can't breathe when I'm around you!
Me: I ... think he may be allergic to her perfume?
Padmé: No, Anakin, it's impossible. I'm a senator.
Me: So ... the problem's not that he's a Jedi and she's not more than superficially interested in him anyway, it's that she's a senator. Are they not allowed to marry either?
Padmé: It doesn't matter what we feel for each other! Our love can never be! We must pretend it doesn't exist!
Me: Wait, what?
Anakin: Wait, what?
Padmé: We must never mention this again.
Anakin: But--
Padmé: Shhht.
[much later, as they're about to be executed]
Padmé: I love you!
Anakin: I thought we weren't going to talk about that.
Padmé: If we're going to die anyway, I don't see that it matters.
Anakin: I love you too.
[*they kiss and go off to meet their doom*]
[*Player 1 apparently managed to wrest back control of Padmé for the Geonosis scenes, yay*]
[after they survive, delaying their doom by about a year, they return to Naboo]
clergyman of some kind: blah blah blah I pronounce you husband and wife.
Padmé and Anakin: *married*
Me: I do not understand anything that has just happened.
[*one kind of awesome battle later*]
Padmé: Something has happened.
Anakin: Ack!
Padmé: I'm pregnant.
Anakin: Awesome!
[*they kiss, sekritly*]
Me: Aww.
[*through various events, Anakin ends up doing horrible things. Aforementioned scene, where she's shocked that her mass-murderer husband committed mass murder, takes place.]
Anakin: This is the only way I can save you and the baby. Don't worry, it'll be fine. I'll save you and then we can overthrow Palpatine! You can be Empress of the galaxy! ... and handle the administrative details.
Padmé: Uh, NO. When did you pick up these shockingly horrible ideas?
Anakin: ... I don't follow.
Padmé: You're so different! I don't even know you any more!
Anakin: GAAAAAH *Force-chokes*
Me: So ... he did all this to save her life ... and now, like, twenty-four hours later, he's killing her. Because ... I don't even know why. I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
[*three amputations and two births later*]
Droid: She's dying even though there's no medical reason for her to be dying. It must be A BROKEN HEART.
Me: What.
Padmé: I may have been formerly kickass, but I now have NOTHING worth living for without my man! Including my planet, my political agenda, my efforts to undermine the Empire, and the protection of my dangerously Force-sensitive children! Who are also Darth Vader's children! *dies*
Me: What.
Anakin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Me: What.
----------------------
That is both an irritating and a depressing note to end on. Mostly, it makes me want to write fic. (Technically) AU fic that's compliant with the continuity and backstory established in ANH and ESB, since (for me, subjectively, blah blah blah) the prequels really aren't, and run with it outside of the Ten Facts marathon. I don't remember all the OT details though -- I wasn't really watching for that when I want on my binge last month.
Tragically, I may be forced to
Besides, my summer holidays begin after this week. It will be like a fandom vacation!