Anghraine

No problem re: commenting (though if you want to add your thoughts on anything locked in a PM, rather than as comments... I can be kind of wanky about privacy.)

Re: Vader/anyone... my headcanon doesn't even bother with internal consistency, because on the one hand I can totally see Anakin as Padmesexual and swearing off everything forever as of the end of RotS (or variations on the theme, whether or not he's crippled-and-suited). On the other, I can also kind of see him going in for even downright absurd amounts of casual sex as a combination of some/any/all of the following headwarps:

1) Anger at Padme and specifically choosing, ah, "playmates" who are very obviously turned on by the whole Sithlord thing, i.e., "See! This isn't horrible! Some people like this side of me just fine!"

2) Contrariwise, also having a lot of self-loathing issues, possibly even in concert with 1), where he's picking women who like him for qualities that he half-despises in himself, and also feeling that he's not worthy of an actual relationship or at least that (um, sadly, not without cause) he's not competent to have one--- that all he's capable of is these kinds of casual fucks

3) A weird sort of loyalty to Padme, because the sex and his partners in it don't mean anything to him like she did and in his head that's a sort of fidelity

4) Leftover psychosexual warps from growing up as a slave of the Hutts i.e. the people who brought gold bikinis and slave dancers to the GFFA and then promptly handed over to the Jedi and their practice of emotional detachment (which doesn't preclude sex). So he's in a weird place about what sexuality actually means even before the whole "Sithlord" thing comes into it.

5)Speaking of Sithlords, Palpatine and his dealings with him could also be part of this: "Yeah, I'm totally over Padme, that's not a button you can push anymore, la la la la".

(Also I see the combination of 1), 2), and 4) but especially 1) and 4) as leading him to be... less unilaterally exploitative of his partners and more "use me to use you" where he's not attaching but he's perfectly happy to let his partners work out their own fantasies--- that he's letting himself be used as much as he is doing the using, again, in a way that goes a lot with what he probably saw of sex growing up as a slave and then the Jedi's whole thing of, "Sex = just fine, love = WILL TURN YOU DARK OH NOES" mess in his head.)

Tl;dr: I think too much about Anakin Skywalker's sex life.

And actually, the idea about Anakin not having a relationship with Padme (which as you say some folks would have preferred) dovetails SO WELL with Jedi!Padme, because their relationship could go like:

Anakin and Padme: [meet when they are assigned on a mission, possibly his first as a full Knight]

Anakin: [falls instantly in love much like canon but without the creepiness of, you know, being NINE TO HER FOURTEEN AT THE TIME]

Padme: No, no, no, honey, we're Jedi, we don't do that. However, maybe if we have sex you'll get it out of your system not that this opinion on my part has anything to do with the fact that you're really cute.

Anakin and Padme: [have sex]

Anakin: [most emphatically DOESN'T get it out of his system]

Padme: Oh, dear.

[Optional: Lather, rinse, repeat the cycle of sex-oh,dear a few times, with a backdrop of how the Clone Wars is messing with both their heads and Anakin is getting clingier and Padme is getting more detached. Then:]

Anakin and Padme: [have sex again]

Ten months later:

Padme: Oh, by the way, Anakin, I gave birth to your children while we were on opposite sides of the galaxy fighting a war. But don't worry, I gave them to the Temple and I didn't tell anyone that we've actually been doing this fairly often, so no harm done. Off to go hack up Separatist droids again, bye now!

Anakin: [flails]

Anakin: [pours his heart out to his great and good friend Chancellor Palpatine]

Palpatine: [thinking] This could not have played into my hands any better if the Jedi had GIFT-WRAPPED HIM FOR ME. [aloud, to Anakin]: Good heavens, what a dreadful betrayal, but then again that does sound like the Jedi's usual sort of thing. [Insert more in this vein, leading up to;] You know, it just so happens that I'm a Sithlord; Come to the Dark Side, we have cookies attachments; go sack the Jedi Temple with my blessing and find your children and raise them in safety, and, um, I'm sure Padme will come around. [Possibly with bonus implications of general treachery on the Jedi's part as well a la canon if "Go save your children" doesn't seem to be working out]

Anakin: [sacks the Jedi Temple; doesn't find his children]

Padme: [distinctly fails to come around, possibly to the tune of being the one to dismember Anakin, with or without Obi-wan's help]

Padme and Obi-wan: [hide the twins, completely failing to recognize that this is part of the problem as opposed to anything like a solution]

Anakin: [becomes Darth Vader]

The OT: [happens as before except that now it potentially makes sense that Leia remembers her mother because Padme might have been around for a while and possibly gone out with a bang fighting for the Rebellion or something]

So basically I agree completely with you about Jedi!Padme, even though I phrased it all For Great LULZ, but, yeah, definitely an Obi-wan type of Jedi, and maybe even primarily a diplomat (which could be why she and Anakin get sent on missions together, because she's supposed to do the talking and he's supposed to hack things up if that doesn't work, or he can hack things up and then she can do the talking after he's softened up the other side a bit).

And I have nothing to say about your read on the twins' issues with Padme, because you have said it all perfectly! (Considering the length of this comment, that is probably not a bad thing, lol.)