:)

[anghraine]

So my best friend J and I were talking about creative writing, and how sapped I've been through the later part of graduate school and also am just a slow writer, and about what writing for joy would look like, etc. I thought about for a little bit, then:

me: I think I know what kind of writing would bring me joy once my brain reconstitutes.
J: Yeah?
me: ...I could never, ever try publishing it professionally and wouldn't want to.
J: *pause* Oh, so fanfiction?
me: Yes. I wouldn't want to risk the wrath of Disney.
J: That has to mean Star Wars.
me: Yeah. I—there's one—I mentioned a few years ago that I wrote a Rogue One fanfic that I'm fond of ...
J: The one where they escape but get stuck on the Death Star?
me: Yes! It's pretty long and I stopped seriously working on it a long time ago, but it's very close to being finished and ... pretty long ... and it's always nice when someone recommends it as technically unfinished but satisfyingly resolved, but lol I tagged it as slow burn in 2017 and they, they never kiss or declare their feelings to avoid complicating such a dangerous situation, so it's just uhhh yearning and camaraderie for thousands and thousands of words. But also there's some plot.
J: That honestly sounds really cool. I should read it some time, but anyway, I think you should do it! I bet that would make you happy.
me: :)

He's not into fanfic at all—he tried a couple of times and it always just morphs into original fiction—and I've rarely talked to him about it at all, so I was touched that he both remembered the premise and was supportive in his creative writing friend capacity! Also, he's a big SW fan (bigger of ST, but even so) and Rogue One is his favorite SW film, so I was touched! He even ended up asking if they get blown up with the Death Star, how they're involved with the "rescue" of Leia, if they're involved with releasing the tractor beam, etc.

I told him about how I really wanted to get the scale of the Death Star across with the long elevator trips and such, and a bit about how I wanted our heroes to be competent but also not to face no serious challenges or stakes, even though a lot of Imperials are pretty silly. I specifically wanted Cassian to face a situation where he had to set aside the big picture for the sake of some extremely flawed individuals and where Jyn, who sees the personhood in random strangers but can lose sight of the big picture, to face a situation where she has to sacrifice an individual for the greater good. The guy isn't meant to be likable but he is meant to be very decidedly a person with his own feelings and relationships, his friend worries about him even when the other Imperials just assume he fell into a bottomless chasm or whatever, and then she and Cassian are left with a very suspicious dead body in the detention center where they're working.

J: lol they should throw it into the garbage compactor!
me: Oh, they do.
J: WHAT
me: :)
J: Really?
me: Yes. So when Leia and everyone jump in, there's—
J: *bursts out laughing*

We'd been trying to figure out how exactly to entertain ourselves last night, since my mind was so melted from Dissertation Day that I wasn't really up to much, and then J had a brainwave.

J: You could do research!
me: ............I'm not sure I really have that in me right now.
J: No, not that kind! Let's watch A New Hope. It's not as heavy or complex as the others, but it's really good and fun, and it'll be research for your story :)
me: :)

So we did! It was great, as ever.