Ten Facts About Fitzwilliam Darcy
Jul. 22nd, 2010 06:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
anghraineTitle: Ten Facts About Fitzwilliam Darcy (crack version)
Fandom: Austen, nominally; also references to others.
Fanverse: for the lulz
Blurb: see the title. the whole title.
Major characters: Fitzwilliam Darcy
Length: one-shot, short
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(10) Clouds don't bring rain to Pemberley.
Darcy permits rain to fall at appropriate intervals.
(9) Darcy's touch cures consumption, smallpox, leprosy, and the common cold.
On the downside, it makes scarlet fever and pneumonia much worse.
(8) Puberty never hit Darcy.
Darcy hit puberty.
Men turned gay. Women turned straight. Every person who set eyes on him instantly formed an irrepressible passion for him. Even Fate began warping reality in his favour, which is why helpful coincidences still trail dutifully after him.
(He was twelve.)
(7) Darcy's first word was the last digit of pi.
(6) The people who think Darcy's father was named George are almost right.
It was actually Jor-El.
(5)
Yes, through the pages of the book.
(4) Darcy reads Pride and Prejudice every year.
He smiles all the time because he knows how it ends.
(The first time, the universe tried to break apart, so now he holds it together with the power of his mind.)
(3) As a child, Darcy tripped over a fallen log and fell through the space-time continuum.
He ended up in a galaxy far, far away, which he saved three times before managing to fall back home.
(The Force wasn't with him. He was with the Force.)
(2) Darcy is a Time Lord.
If he ever hits his thirteenth regeneration, he'll just start all over again.
(1) Darcy isn't Tom Lefroy, or the Suitor by the Seaside, or any of his creator's other would-be lovers.
He's
this I haven't seen!
on 2010-07-23 09:30 am (UTC)Re: this I haven't seen!
on 2010-07-23 03:49 pm (UTC)and thanks, heh.