Personal canon: Harry Potter
Dec. 22nd, 2010 07:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
anghraineI found another one of these floating around my hard drive. Hm, they all seem to have ended up halfway between meta and fic.
This set probably has more in common with the SW one than the P&P or LOTR ones -- this is another canon where I cheerfully ignore details I find problematic, or just don't like. Yes, I'm a bad fan.
ETA: Also, while I don't plan to add copious footnotes to everything I do, this jumps around so much, and ended up so meta-y, that they seemednecessary useful for me, at any rate. I now have a place to put my elaborate tangents!
(1) Magic is polygenic.
(2) Harry is the star witness in Narcissa Malfoy’s trial – for the defence.
In a strange, creepy way, she reminds him of his mother. He knows that if Malfoy had been born a few weeks later, it would have been Narcissa standing before Voldemort’s wand, sheltering the cradle with her body and screaming Not Draco, not Draco!
(3) The Dursleys were physically abusive.
They didn't whip him, of course. But the long experience that taught Harry to stay out of his uncle's reach1 didn't consist of pats on the head. Vernon, who wouldn't have dreamed of raising a hand against his wife or son, thought nothing of casually striking or strangling2. his nephew.
Nor did Petunia have any objection to throwing or swinging various household items at him. At eight, or six, or two, Harry wasn't quite as quick to duck as he was at eleven3.
(4) Harry inherited Parseltongue from his Peverell ancestress, as did any number of Potters before him4 – though, fortunately for Slytherin House, not James.
(5) At least one of Dudley’s children is magical.
(6) Harry knows how to cook.
He did the Dursleys’ cooking from the time he was old enough to reach the stove until he left for Hogwarts. Between getting splattered by grease and burned by the stove and punished if anything less than perfection landed on Dudley’s plate, he quickly learned to do it well.
So of course he did the cooking during the months of camping. Ron can’t make anything more complicated than a sandwich and Hermione – well, why should she, when Harry was the one who knew how? Being the girl didn’t give her culinary powers.
(7) James and Snape were nothing more than schoolboy rivals.
They clashed whenever they occupied the same room and took every opportunity to get the better of each other, by whatever means were at their disposal. These things happen.
But Snape was immediately taken up by Bellatrix Black’s gang of Slytherins, and James just as quickly became best friends with Sirius Black and absorbed all two of the other Gryffindor boys into their friendship. It got caught up in matters outside of themselves, Houses and politics and Blacks and Lily, but it was never about any of those things. It was just two boys who hated each other.
(8) Harry is lazy and erratic, not mediocre – contrary to both Snape’s opinion and his own5. It isn’t mere coincidence that, at thirteen, he masters a spell that many adults can't manage; at fourteen, starts shrugging off Unforgivables; and less admirably, at seventeen, succeeds in casting them himself -- the Imperius on his first try and the Cruciatus on his third6.
He’s not Voldemort because he chose not to be, not because he couldn’t have been.
(9) Dorea Black’s family thoroughly approved of her marriage to Charles Potter7. Charles could be priggish about certain things, but he wasn’t a blood-traitor8 like that creature her cousin Cedrella9 had married. The Potters were like the Longbottoms and Crouches10 – political enemies, but still the right kind of people.
It was her husband who refused to associate with her family, and who kept their son away from his Black cousins11. To Charles’ credit, he always welcomed young Sirius Black12 with open arms. When Sirius ran away, Charles even permitted Dorea to firecall her cousin Arcturus13, and tell him his grandson14 was safe with them.
(It didn’t keep her niece15 from blasting Sirius off the family tapestry, but at least Arcturus refused to write him out of the will.)
(10) Neither Narcissa nor Lucius ever so much as slapped their precious little boy.
(11) Petunia was furious with Lily for not saving their parents. She was even angrier that Lily didn’t save herself.
(But if it had been Dudley in Harry’s place, Petunia would have done exactly the same thing.)
(12) James really didn’t know about the prank ahead of time. It was Peter16 who told him that Sirius had planned a hilarious joke on Snape - so he wanted to find a werewolf? Well, he’d find a werewolf, then.
Peter was really a much nicer boy than James. He was rarely malicious or cruel; he didn’t even like to kill bugs. James hexed people for fun. But somehow it was Peter giggling over the thought of Snape getting mauled by Remus, and James hurtling towards the Willow, only speeding up when he realised that Prongs’ antlers would never fit through the doorway17.
(13) Halfbloods are attacked, vilified, persecuted – but rarely for being halfbloods18.
After all, everyone has little embarrassments in their family trees. As interconnected as they all are, it wouldn’t do to look too closely at anybody.
(14) A full third of Slytherin House came back with Professor Slughorn. The other two-thirds – well, they didn’t.
(15) After the war, Harry and Dudley meet up for lunch. It’s awkward and Dudley doesn’t dare tell his parents, but at least it’s something.
Somehow the lunches become more and more frequent, until they’re a sort of ritual, faithfully marked down on Dudley’s calendar19. They talk about work, and the humdrum of their daily lives20, and even Vernon and Petunia and Lily. They introduce their girlfriends and once in a while, Dudley meets little Teddy Lupin.
Maybe they’re never close friends, but they’re friendly, anyway.
(For years, Dudley’s parents cherish the fond illusion that they’ve managed to get Harry completely out of their lives. He can’t bring himself to break it until after his engagement. Even then, he only tells them because he impulsively invited Harry to the wedding, and Harry just as impulsively accepted.)
(16) Dudley likes going into Diagon Alley.
The first time, Harry casually introduced him as ‘my cousin, Dudley Dursley.’ Dudley knew, of course, that Harry was supposed to be famous or something, but it didn’t hit him until then, as people rushed to talk to him, eagerly shaking his hand.
In his own world, Dudley is just one more boy who’ll never amount to anything. In the wizards’, he’s Harry Potter’s cousin. Perfect strangers recognise him on sight, whispering as he passes. Girls flirt with him. Reporters offer interviews, the occasional enterprising soul snaps a photograph of them, and when he stays at Harry’s place, a little green troll waits hand and foot on him.21
He’ll never admit it, but Dudley is far happier as Harry Potter’s cousin than the Dursleys’s son. He’s relieved when his firstborn turns out to be magical.
(17) James’ sudden maturation didn’t have anything to do with the prank22.
Risking his life for his most hated enemy meant nothing to him. It didn’t matter that it was Snape down there. He’d have done the same for anyone. He’d have done it even if it were a different werewolf, even if Sirius hadn’t set the whole thing off. It was just what you did. Whatever his faults, he never lacked courage.
No: James turned around in seventh year, when Sirius’ prank was a distant, insignificant memory. It was 197723 and his mother had just been murdered.
(18) Bellatrix and Andromeda were identical twins.24
Andromeda forced herself to sit through Bella’s trial, ignoring and ignored by her relations. People on the street cringed away from her and at least two seemed on the point of calling the Aurors. She went home and dyed her hair the dullest shade of brown she could find.
(19) Neither Ron and Hermione nor Harry and Ginny break up. The latter drift apart without much noticing it, and remain friends25. The former live happily, if less than harmoniously, ever after.
(20) Harry enters Auror training after the Battle of Hogwarts.
As master of the Elder Wand, Harry can’t afford to be defeated in battle. Not by anyone, ever26. He’s still not exactly sure how to manage it, apart from hiding in caves for the rest of his life, but he figures he’ll need the best training he can get. Besides, fighting Dark wizards is pretty much all he knows how to do.
(21) Even with Voldemort gone, Professor McGonagall – now Headmistress of Hogwarts – struggles to fill the Defence Against the Dark Arts position. It’s a chance conversation with Hermione Granger that provides the solution.
McGonagall asks Harry to come to Hogwarts and offers him the job27. Like Snape before him, Harry is a Hogwarts professor and Head of House by twenty-three.
Professor Potter is scrupulously fair to all of his students, especially Scorpius Malfoy.
(22) Harry’s only child is a blonde, green-eyed girl named Lily. Everyone always uses her middle name, Irene28.
After the last thirty years, it seems suitable.
(23) Ron helps George keep up with the store. He’s good with money, so he ends up handling the whole business end, and George makes him a full partner. It’s probably what would have happened if Fred had lived, and Ron likes to think he approves29.
Hermione joins the Ministry as a lawyer. Neville is hired to teach Herbology after Madam Sprout retires and Ginny becomes an international Quidditch star. Luna, of all people, becomes an Auror. To the surprise of nearly everyone, she’s very good at it30.
(24) Andromeda’s house was destroyed by Death Eaters, so Harry invites her and Teddy to live at Grimmauld Place. Teddy’s his godson – and with Ron and Hermione in their own flats, Harry doesn’t like rattling around the house by himself, anyway – and Andromeda’s a Black. It feels right.31
There’s the occasional inconvenience, of course, like when her sister comes to see her and stays for three hours, and he’s not sure Malfoy should be allowed to babysit Teddy. She’s not maternal, not like Mrs Weasley, but they look after each other and Teddy, and somehow it works.
(25) Draco Malfoy is never a particularly nice man.
Still, he ends up a better one than anybody could have reasonably expected. He pays his taxes, lives in compliance with the law, and doesn’t bribe people or insult them in public. Scorpius, a strangely good-natured boy who would have been eaten alive in Slytherin32, grows up knowing that Mudblood is not an acceptable word under any circumstances, and only ever hears it from his grandfather.
And everybody knows Lucius Malfoy hasn’t been right in the head since the war.
------------------------
1cf HBP: long experience had taught him to remain out of arm's reach of his uncle whenever possible.
2cf OOTP: two purple hands reached through the open window and closed tightly around his throat.
3cf COS: he [Harry] still had to duck as she [Petunia] aimed a heavy blow at his head with the soapy frying pan. There are still people who argue that the Dursleys, and especially Petunia, don't "really" abuse Harry. I guess it's not real abuse if you don't end up comatose, irreparably brain-damaged, or dead.
4as did Salazar Slytherin, presumably. Yes, my discontinuity-dumping goes back that far.
5and TV Tropes', apparently.
6Good? No. Impressive? Hell, yes. I still don't know where "Harry is a completely untalented hack who just gets lucky!" even comes from. (Well, actually I do: Snape and Harry. They're obviously more unbiased sources than his other teachers, his exam scores [average, really good, really good, amazing, really good], or his actual spellwork -- which ranges from competent to reasonably talented to extraordinary, depending on the subject and his personal interest in it. Charms and Defence Against the Dark Arts seem to be the big winners.)
7Yes, I know it's spelled Charlus on the chart. I'm taking the liberty of assuming it's a typo, like Cassiopea.
8Apparently the Potters were "acceptable" by whatever twisted standards the Blacks applied, even though they obviously weren't wizarding supremacists or remotely tolerant of the Dark Arts -- Dorea wasn't ever blown off the family tree.
9Cedrella Black was blasted off the tapestry for marrying a "blood traitor" -- Septimus Weasley. Sirius' description in OOTP strongly implies that Septimus and Cedrella were Arthur's parents. This, incidentally, would make Ron and Ginny third cousins to Bellatrix, Andromeda, Narcissa, Harry, Sirius, and Regulus.
10the families into which Dorea's cousins Callidora and Charis -- Cedrella's sisters -- married, also without disapproval. I'm starting to think that wizarding politics can be murky.
11My fanwank for the reason that James and Sirius have obviously never met in the DH flashback.
12Sirius's mother is the daughter of Dorea's older brother Pollux, making him her great-nephew.
13Arcturus Black, the son of Dorea's paternal uncle.
14Sirius. While the relationship described in #12 is on Sirius' mother's side, his father, Orion, was obviously a Black as well. Orion turns out to be Arcturus' only son, making Sirius her first cousin twice removed into the bargain.
15Walburga Black, Sirius' mother. And I think that's all of them, phew.
16My personal fanwank. Somebody had to have told him (the people who are actually in a position to know agree that James had nothing to do with it until he found out and rushed after Snape), and I can easily see Peter letting it slip.
17Harry and Hermione have trouble getting through that door at thirteen; no way would have a full-grown stag have fit. James must have switched to human form. (I am still unclear on why so many people seem to think this reflects badly on James. Maybe as the enabler of Sirius' crazy, but his actions in the scene itself? Pure Crowning Moment of Awesome.)
18I remember, when I first read COS, I wondered why none of Harry's accusers seemed to consider that he's a halfblood and his own mother was Muggleborn. By DH (when the Death Eaters turned out to mostly be halfblood themselves, everyone was desperately trying to prove halfblood status, and even Bellatrix didn't try to specifically "prune" Tonks out of the family tree until she married Lupin), the answer became obvious: nobody gives a shit.
19Harry doesn't have a calendar.
20Of course, Harry's idea of 'humdrum' is wild adventure to Dudley, but he does his best not to gape too much.
21I don't know why, it just seemed that Dudley would warm up to the wizarding world very fast once he found that he could bask in a bit of reflected celebrity. And, you know, could occasionally stay at Harry's mansion with Harry's servant waiting on him. ... I suspect even Vernon and Petunia might warm up to that, if they knew about it.
22Which, y'know, happened over a year earlier. Apparently I'm the only person who thinks Prank->SWM->lots of time->James' quasi-reformation makes way more sense than the Prank as some kind of epiphany that didn't take for another year and a half. (Also, I think it says more about James, in both good ways and bad, that risking his life for Snape meant so little to him.)
23Dorea's 1977 death date was just too convenient not to use. And I know, supposedly his parents just got old, but I fanwanked it with his father being waaaay older than his mother and dying of dragon pox or something, while Dorea declined to assist the Death Eaters and was murdered on the spot.
She could easily have been one of the first pureblood casualties of the war, and -- considering the source -- there'd probably be this huge media blitz about her and James the tragic orphan and so on while the deaths of hundreds of Muggles and Muggleborns go unnoticed. (Hey, it might have been part of what made even Sirius' parents draw the line -- WTF HE'S KILLING BLACKS OMG NO ONE IS SAFE!)
24This seems the easiest way to resolve the timeline issues, but somehow, I've never seen anybody use it before, even with fraternal twins. I don't know why.
25I really don't like the Harry/Ginny ship, as written. But I don't want to be one of those people, and I wholeheartedly shipped them through the first five books (yes, really -- contrary to popular belief, it's not always about ship-sinking), so I prefer to imagine things just fizzling out than OMG GINNY IS A CHEATING BITCH or whatever.
26So you'd think making a career of fighting Dark wizards would be ... um, somewhat less than optimal, unless he plans to be the best duelist EVAR. Which seems a bit optimistic for our Harry.
27HARRY: o_O
But really, I think it would be pretty much the perfect solution. He's a great teacher and obviously enjoys it (I kind of hoped that's where the whole DA thing was going *sigh*) -- and since he didn't lose ownership of his wand in all those little duels, I think the wand lore stuff only applies for serious fights. Also, at Hogwarts, he'd be comparatively secluded, so people wouldn't be able to stab him in his sleep or what have you.
28Irene means peace. Because Harry is JUST THAT SUBTLE.
Also, you can probably guess which ship I picked up after HBP soured me on Harry/Ginny, because I am very subtle myself.
29So do I. *sob*
30I wanted somebody to be an Auror, so I went with the one who seemed least likely. But Luna is obviously very capable in battle and probably has the marks to get in, and she's so observant that she'd be the most awesome quirky girl detective EVER.
31This is another thing I randomly love: Andromeda and Harry bond. Not romantically (ew), but ... looking after one another and co-raising Teddy and redecorating Grimmauld Place and not being TRAGICALLY ALONE.
32After all the Slytherin!Al fic, I kind of love the idea of not-Slytherin!Scorpius. Maybe Ravenclawwith Rose? LOOK, DON'T JUDGE ME.
This set probably has more in common with the SW one than the P&P or LOTR ones -- this is another canon where I cheerfully ignore details I find problematic, or just don't like. Yes, I'm a bad fan.
ETA: Also, while I don't plan to add copious footnotes to everything I do, this jumps around so much, and ended up so meta-y, that they seemed
(1) Magic is polygenic.
(2) Harry is the star witness in Narcissa Malfoy’s trial – for the defence.
In a strange, creepy way, she reminds him of his mother. He knows that if Malfoy had been born a few weeks later, it would have been Narcissa standing before Voldemort’s wand, sheltering the cradle with her body and screaming Not Draco, not Draco!
(3) The Dursleys were physically abusive.
They didn't whip him, of course. But the long experience that taught Harry to stay out of his uncle's reach1 didn't consist of pats on the head. Vernon, who wouldn't have dreamed of raising a hand against his wife or son, thought nothing of casually striking or strangling2. his nephew.
Nor did Petunia have any objection to throwing or swinging various household items at him. At eight, or six, or two, Harry wasn't quite as quick to duck as he was at eleven3.
(4) Harry inherited Parseltongue from his Peverell ancestress, as did any number of Potters before him4 – though, fortunately for Slytherin House, not James.
(5) At least one of Dudley’s children is magical.
(6) Harry knows how to cook.
He did the Dursleys’ cooking from the time he was old enough to reach the stove until he left for Hogwarts. Between getting splattered by grease and burned by the stove and punished if anything less than perfection landed on Dudley’s plate, he quickly learned to do it well.
So of course he did the cooking during the months of camping. Ron can’t make anything more complicated than a sandwich and Hermione – well, why should she, when Harry was the one who knew how? Being the girl didn’t give her culinary powers.
(7) James and Snape were nothing more than schoolboy rivals.
They clashed whenever they occupied the same room and took every opportunity to get the better of each other, by whatever means were at their disposal. These things happen.
But Snape was immediately taken up by Bellatrix Black’s gang of Slytherins, and James just as quickly became best friends with Sirius Black and absorbed all two of the other Gryffindor boys into their friendship. It got caught up in matters outside of themselves, Houses and politics and Blacks and Lily, but it was never about any of those things. It was just two boys who hated each other.
(8) Harry is lazy and erratic, not mediocre – contrary to both Snape’s opinion and his own5. It isn’t mere coincidence that, at thirteen, he masters a spell that many adults can't manage; at fourteen, starts shrugging off Unforgivables; and less admirably, at seventeen, succeeds in casting them himself -- the Imperius on his first try and the Cruciatus on his third6.
He’s not Voldemort because he chose not to be, not because he couldn’t have been.
(9) Dorea Black’s family thoroughly approved of her marriage to Charles Potter7. Charles could be priggish about certain things, but he wasn’t a blood-traitor8 like that creature her cousin Cedrella9 had married. The Potters were like the Longbottoms and Crouches10 – political enemies, but still the right kind of people.
It was her husband who refused to associate with her family, and who kept their son away from his Black cousins11. To Charles’ credit, he always welcomed young Sirius Black12 with open arms. When Sirius ran away, Charles even permitted Dorea to firecall her cousin Arcturus13, and tell him his grandson14 was safe with them.
(It didn’t keep her niece15 from blasting Sirius off the family tapestry, but at least Arcturus refused to write him out of the will.)
(10) Neither Narcissa nor Lucius ever so much as slapped their precious little boy.
(11) Petunia was furious with Lily for not saving their parents. She was even angrier that Lily didn’t save herself.
(But if it had been Dudley in Harry’s place, Petunia would have done exactly the same thing.)
(12) James really didn’t know about the prank ahead of time. It was Peter16 who told him that Sirius had planned a hilarious joke on Snape - so he wanted to find a werewolf? Well, he’d find a werewolf, then.
Peter was really a much nicer boy than James. He was rarely malicious or cruel; he didn’t even like to kill bugs. James hexed people for fun. But somehow it was Peter giggling over the thought of Snape getting mauled by Remus, and James hurtling towards the Willow, only speeding up when he realised that Prongs’ antlers would never fit through the doorway17.
(13) Halfbloods are attacked, vilified, persecuted – but rarely for being halfbloods18.
After all, everyone has little embarrassments in their family trees. As interconnected as they all are, it wouldn’t do to look too closely at anybody.
(14) A full third of Slytherin House came back with Professor Slughorn. The other two-thirds – well, they didn’t.
(15) After the war, Harry and Dudley meet up for lunch. It’s awkward and Dudley doesn’t dare tell his parents, but at least it’s something.
Somehow the lunches become more and more frequent, until they’re a sort of ritual, faithfully marked down on Dudley’s calendar19. They talk about work, and the humdrum of their daily lives20, and even Vernon and Petunia and Lily. They introduce their girlfriends and once in a while, Dudley meets little Teddy Lupin.
Maybe they’re never close friends, but they’re friendly, anyway.
(For years, Dudley’s parents cherish the fond illusion that they’ve managed to get Harry completely out of their lives. He can’t bring himself to break it until after his engagement. Even then, he only tells them because he impulsively invited Harry to the wedding, and Harry just as impulsively accepted.)
(16) Dudley likes going into Diagon Alley.
The first time, Harry casually introduced him as ‘my cousin, Dudley Dursley.’ Dudley knew, of course, that Harry was supposed to be famous or something, but it didn’t hit him until then, as people rushed to talk to him, eagerly shaking his hand.
In his own world, Dudley is just one more boy who’ll never amount to anything. In the wizards’, he’s Harry Potter’s cousin. Perfect strangers recognise him on sight, whispering as he passes. Girls flirt with him. Reporters offer interviews, the occasional enterprising soul snaps a photograph of them, and when he stays at Harry’s place, a little green troll waits hand and foot on him.21
He’ll never admit it, but Dudley is far happier as Harry Potter’s cousin than the Dursleys’s son. He’s relieved when his firstborn turns out to be magical.
(17) James’ sudden maturation didn’t have anything to do with the prank22.
Risking his life for his most hated enemy meant nothing to him. It didn’t matter that it was Snape down there. He’d have done the same for anyone. He’d have done it even if it were a different werewolf, even if Sirius hadn’t set the whole thing off. It was just what you did. Whatever his faults, he never lacked courage.
No: James turned around in seventh year, when Sirius’ prank was a distant, insignificant memory. It was 197723 and his mother had just been murdered.
(18) Bellatrix and Andromeda were identical twins.24
Andromeda forced herself to sit through Bella’s trial, ignoring and ignored by her relations. People on the street cringed away from her and at least two seemed on the point of calling the Aurors. She went home and dyed her hair the dullest shade of brown she could find.
(19) Neither Ron and Hermione nor Harry and Ginny break up. The latter drift apart without much noticing it, and remain friends25. The former live happily, if less than harmoniously, ever after.
(20) Harry enters Auror training after the Battle of Hogwarts.
As master of the Elder Wand, Harry can’t afford to be defeated in battle. Not by anyone, ever26. He’s still not exactly sure how to manage it, apart from hiding in caves for the rest of his life, but he figures he’ll need the best training he can get. Besides, fighting Dark wizards is pretty much all he knows how to do.
(21) Even with Voldemort gone, Professor McGonagall – now Headmistress of Hogwarts – struggles to fill the Defence Against the Dark Arts position. It’s a chance conversation with Hermione Granger that provides the solution.
McGonagall asks Harry to come to Hogwarts and offers him the job27. Like Snape before him, Harry is a Hogwarts professor and Head of House by twenty-three.
Professor Potter is scrupulously fair to all of his students, especially Scorpius Malfoy.
(22) Harry’s only child is a blonde, green-eyed girl named Lily. Everyone always uses her middle name, Irene28.
After the last thirty years, it seems suitable.
(23) Ron helps George keep up with the store. He’s good with money, so he ends up handling the whole business end, and George makes him a full partner. It’s probably what would have happened if Fred had lived, and Ron likes to think he approves29.
Hermione joins the Ministry as a lawyer. Neville is hired to teach Herbology after Madam Sprout retires and Ginny becomes an international Quidditch star. Luna, of all people, becomes an Auror. To the surprise of nearly everyone, she’s very good at it30.
(24) Andromeda’s house was destroyed by Death Eaters, so Harry invites her and Teddy to live at Grimmauld Place. Teddy’s his godson – and with Ron and Hermione in their own flats, Harry doesn’t like rattling around the house by himself, anyway – and Andromeda’s a Black. It feels right.31
There’s the occasional inconvenience, of course, like when her sister comes to see her and stays for three hours, and he’s not sure Malfoy should be allowed to babysit Teddy. She’s not maternal, not like Mrs Weasley, but they look after each other and Teddy, and somehow it works.
(25) Draco Malfoy is never a particularly nice man.
Still, he ends up a better one than anybody could have reasonably expected. He pays his taxes, lives in compliance with the law, and doesn’t bribe people or insult them in public. Scorpius, a strangely good-natured boy who would have been eaten alive in Slytherin32, grows up knowing that Mudblood is not an acceptable word under any circumstances, and only ever hears it from his grandfather.
And everybody knows Lucius Malfoy hasn’t been right in the head since the war.
------------------------
1cf HBP: long experience had taught him to remain out of arm's reach of his uncle whenever possible.
2cf OOTP: two purple hands reached through the open window and closed tightly around his throat.
3cf COS: he [Harry] still had to duck as she [Petunia] aimed a heavy blow at his head with the soapy frying pan. There are still people who argue that the Dursleys, and especially Petunia, don't "really" abuse Harry. I guess it's not real abuse if you don't end up comatose, irreparably brain-damaged, or dead.
4as did Salazar Slytherin, presumably. Yes, my discontinuity-dumping goes back that far.
5and TV Tropes', apparently.
6Good? No. Impressive? Hell, yes. I still don't know where "Harry is a completely untalented hack who just gets lucky!" even comes from. (Well, actually I do: Snape and Harry. They're obviously more unbiased sources than his other teachers, his exam scores [average, really good, really good, amazing, really good], or his actual spellwork -- which ranges from competent to reasonably talented to extraordinary, depending on the subject and his personal interest in it. Charms and Defence Against the Dark Arts seem to be the big winners.)
7Yes, I know it's spelled Charlus on the chart. I'm taking the liberty of assuming it's a typo, like Cassiopea.
8Apparently the Potters were "acceptable" by whatever twisted standards the Blacks applied, even though they obviously weren't wizarding supremacists or remotely tolerant of the Dark Arts -- Dorea wasn't ever blown off the family tree.
9Cedrella Black was blasted off the tapestry for marrying a "blood traitor" -- Septimus Weasley. Sirius' description in OOTP strongly implies that Septimus and Cedrella were Arthur's parents. This, incidentally, would make Ron and Ginny third cousins to Bellatrix, Andromeda, Narcissa, Harry, Sirius, and Regulus.
10the families into which Dorea's cousins Callidora and Charis -- Cedrella's sisters -- married, also without disapproval. I'm starting to think that wizarding politics can be murky.
11My fanwank for the reason that James and Sirius have obviously never met in the DH flashback.
12Sirius's mother is the daughter of Dorea's older brother Pollux, making him her great-nephew.
13Arcturus Black, the son of Dorea's paternal uncle.
14Sirius. While the relationship described in #12 is on Sirius' mother's side, his father, Orion, was obviously a Black as well. Orion turns out to be Arcturus' only son, making Sirius her first cousin twice removed into the bargain.
15Walburga Black, Sirius' mother. And I think that's all of them, phew.
16My personal fanwank. Somebody had to have told him (the people who are actually in a position to know agree that James had nothing to do with it until he found out and rushed after Snape), and I can easily see Peter letting it slip.
17Harry and Hermione have trouble getting through that door at thirteen; no way would have a full-grown stag have fit. James must have switched to human form. (I am still unclear on why so many people seem to think this reflects badly on James. Maybe as the enabler of Sirius' crazy, but his actions in the scene itself? Pure Crowning Moment of Awesome.)
18I remember, when I first read COS, I wondered why none of Harry's accusers seemed to consider that he's a halfblood and his own mother was Muggleborn. By DH (when the Death Eaters turned out to mostly be halfblood themselves, everyone was desperately trying to prove halfblood status, and even Bellatrix didn't try to specifically "prune" Tonks out of the family tree until she married Lupin), the answer became obvious: nobody gives a shit.
19Harry doesn't have a calendar.
20Of course, Harry's idea of 'humdrum' is wild adventure to Dudley, but he does his best not to gape too much.
21I don't know why, it just seemed that Dudley would warm up to the wizarding world very fast once he found that he could bask in a bit of reflected celebrity. And, you know, could occasionally stay at Harry's mansion with Harry's servant waiting on him. ... I suspect even Vernon and Petunia might warm up to that, if they knew about it.
22Which, y'know, happened over a year earlier. Apparently I'm the only person who thinks Prank->SWM->lots of time->James' quasi-reformation makes way more sense than the Prank as some kind of epiphany that didn't take for another year and a half. (Also, I think it says more about James, in both good ways and bad, that risking his life for Snape meant so little to him.)
23Dorea's 1977 death date was just too convenient not to use. And I know, supposedly his parents just got old, but I fanwanked it with his father being waaaay older than his mother and dying of dragon pox or something, while Dorea declined to assist the Death Eaters and was murdered on the spot.
She could easily have been one of the first pureblood casualties of the war, and -- considering the source -- there'd probably be this huge media blitz about her and James the tragic orphan and so on while the deaths of hundreds of Muggles and Muggleborns go unnoticed. (Hey, it might have been part of what made even Sirius' parents draw the line -- WTF HE'S KILLING BLACKS OMG NO ONE IS SAFE!)
24This seems the easiest way to resolve the timeline issues, but somehow, I've never seen anybody use it before, even with fraternal twins. I don't know why.
25I really don't like the Harry/Ginny ship, as written. But I don't want to be one of those people, and I wholeheartedly shipped them through the first five books (yes, really -- contrary to popular belief, it's not always about ship-sinking), so I prefer to imagine things just fizzling out than OMG GINNY IS A CHEATING BITCH or whatever.
26So you'd think making a career of fighting Dark wizards would be ... um, somewhat less than optimal, unless he plans to be the best duelist EVAR. Which seems a bit optimistic for our Harry.
27HARRY: o_O
But really, I think it would be pretty much the perfect solution. He's a great teacher and obviously enjoys it (I kind of hoped that's where the whole DA thing was going *sigh*) -- and since he didn't lose ownership of his wand in all those little duels, I think the wand lore stuff only applies for serious fights. Also, at Hogwarts, he'd be comparatively secluded, so people wouldn't be able to stab him in his sleep or what have you.
28Irene means peace. Because Harry is JUST THAT SUBTLE.
Also, you can probably guess which ship I picked up after HBP soured me on Harry/Ginny, because I am very subtle myself.
29So do I. *sob*
30I wanted somebody to be an Auror, so I went with the one who seemed least likely. But Luna is obviously very capable in battle and probably has the marks to get in, and she's so observant that she'd be the most awesome quirky girl detective EVER.
31This is another thing I randomly love: Andromeda and Harry bond. Not romantically (ew), but ... looking after one another and co-raising Teddy and redecorating Grimmauld Place and not being TRAGICALLY ALONE.
32After all the Slytherin!Al fic, I kind of love the idea of not-Slytherin!Scorpius. Maybe Ravenclaw
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on 2010-12-29 08:44 pm (UTC)And thanks! There's maybe a teensy bit of resistant reading going on here, so I'm glad you liked them.