I did it. Somehow.
Sep. 10th, 2011 01:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
anghraineI got Revenge in, after every possible thing that could go wrong going wrong. My computer lost Internet access. My computer had to be restaged. My borrowed computer lost the entire post and I had to write it all over again.
But it's in. 58,000 words -- I don't even know. And Lucy was 28,000, I think, so together I basically wrote a YA novel. NOTE TO THE FUTURE: NEVER DO THIS AGAIN. EVER.
Even though I'm almost sure that the later chapters are a bit weak - because, you know, time and stupid damn computer - it's done. It's done, it's done. I am so glad. And I'm kind of satisfied with myself that even though this is not the entire storyline, that I did manage to do everything I wanted to. I took that vague plot and strung out this weird (okay, kind of plotless) story and got everything I wanted in it. Is it better than Return of the Jedi? lol no. But has a bunch of individual things that are more satisfying for me personally. I know I shortchanged the Jabba section especially, but that's... kind of my way of reversing it? I was always irritated that it goes ON AND ON AND ON, so my version is like, idk, three paragraphs and then the barge scene and oh look he's dead. Which isn't necessarily good, but personally satisfying.
In fact, of all the stories I've written, this may be the most purely self-indulgent. This story is basically what I wanted it to be, and I just ignored everything I know about how there should be a Plot where Things Happen that are Not Flashbacks and Possibly Also Not Monk Training. Also, the PT AU embedded within it is totally my favourite part. And possibly I should have just written that.And maybe I will someday. And yeah, it doesn't wrap up the story as such -- Vader's arc, in particular, is just starting, and Shmi's is left dangling, but it wraps up enough that I'm happy with it. Unlike Lucy -- I mean, I'm happy with Lucy (probably happier than I am with Revenge even, because of that whole Plot thing), but it's practically got TO BE CONTINUED plastered at the bottom of it. This could...probably be its own thing, even though obviously there is more story.
Also, seriously guys -- all of you who encouraged me through these monstrosities. Thank you. Sometimes seeing someone go "ooh that sounds amazing!" or "no, E, I'm really looking forward to it..." is what got me from staring at a blank "Ch 14" or whatever and filling it with, you know, words. It's been fun to talk about and to hint about and to know people actually cared about. So thanks!
Second also, my artist was amazing. I was perpetually behind, aside of all my computer problems, I wrote the chapters out of order so I could only send them to her very slowly, the fanmix ended up being wonderfully appropriate and sparkly and everything. So just so you know.
Now I don't want to write any serious fiction for like A YEAR by which I probably mean a week and a half. I'm like 'whoa, do I even want to do it next year? lol whatevs.' But now that I've shown I can write over eighty thousand words (lol), I think I could actually do it properly for once. But never two at once. NEVER.
But it's in. 58,000 words -- I don't even know. And Lucy was 28,000, I think, so together I basically wrote a YA novel. NOTE TO THE FUTURE: NEVER DO THIS AGAIN. EVER.
Even though I'm almost sure that the later chapters are a bit weak - because, you know, time and stupid damn computer - it's done. It's done, it's done. I am so glad. And I'm kind of satisfied with myself that even though this is not the entire storyline, that I did manage to do everything I wanted to. I took that vague plot and strung out this weird (okay, kind of plotless) story and got everything I wanted in it. Is it better than Return of the Jedi? lol no. But has a bunch of individual things that are more satisfying for me personally. I know I shortchanged the Jabba section especially, but that's... kind of my way of reversing it? I was always irritated that it goes ON AND ON AND ON, so my version is like, idk, three paragraphs and then the barge scene and oh look he's dead. Which isn't necessarily good, but personally satisfying.
In fact, of all the stories I've written, this may be the most purely self-indulgent. This story is basically what I wanted it to be, and I just ignored everything I know about how there should be a Plot where Things Happen that are Not Flashbacks and Possibly Also Not Monk Training. Also, the PT AU embedded within it is totally my favourite part. And possibly I should have just written that.
Also, seriously guys -- all of you who encouraged me through these monstrosities. Thank you. Sometimes seeing someone go "ooh that sounds amazing!" or "no, E, I'm really looking forward to it..." is what got me from staring at a blank "Ch 14" or whatever and filling it with, you know, words. It's been fun to talk about and to hint about and to know people actually cared about. So thanks!
Second also, my artist was amazing. I was perpetually behind, aside of all my computer problems, I wrote the chapters out of order so I could only send them to her very slowly, the fanmix ended up being wonderfully appropriate and sparkly and everything. So just so you know.
Now I don't want to write any serious fiction for like A YEAR by which I probably mean a week and a half. I'm like 'whoa, do I even want to do it next year? lol whatevs.' But now that I've shown I can write over eighty thousand words (lol), I think I could actually do it properly for once. But never two at once. NEVER.
Re: epic teal deer are epic!
on 2011-09-17 12:11 am (UTC)Oooh, I like the way you're framing Luke and Leia! And you're right that Han is in many ways the odd one out in the early phase of the 3-way interaction. But, yeah, I'm more interested in the ways that each of them has things in common with both parents (and each other), y'know?
Yoda I could accept as having more to do with lightsabers, simply because he trains Jedi; his duels in the PT were just silly, but him with a 'saber per se didn't bug me in itself. The Emperor, on the other hand--- no, just no. He does his fighting with words and ideas, dammit!
Yeah, Padme being the one who was chill about the rulebreaking would have been interesting! (It's my headcanon that the way the marriage proposal came about was that the two of them were ranting about the squick of the cloned slave soldiers on the way back from Geonosis while Anakin convalesced, and by the time they got to Naboo they had sort of worked themselves up to a place where they were both like, "These people have lost their standing to pass moral judgements on us, let's do this thing," where it's more than half a private rebellion against the moral decay around them.) And I'm glad you like ambivalent-mother!Padme and squeefully-paternal!Anakin! :D :D :D (And, yeah, feeling the need to turn the, "Women are always asquee about being pregnant and men, especially young ones, are always ambivalent about fatherhood," because, really, it's Anakin who thrives on connections, here.) And I like your cracktheory! Mine is that someone who's not strong in the Force carrying a child with a high midichlorian count is automatically a high-risk pregnancy because the midichlorians affect the endocrine system--- then you add all the stressors in Padme's life and her body just couldn't pull it off any longer. So, basically the same thing but with crack!science instead of crack!spirituality. :)
And, yeah, the Tuskens seem to be a separate thing; I mean, the woman to whom he is telling this led a castle onslaught at fourteen and he was there, so he can't have thought of all women as non-combatants; it must have been something specific to whatever Anakin knew, or thought he did, about Tusken culture?
This is me agreeing with you so so hard about the Anakin/Padme galaxy-ruling division of labor!!!!!! You put it perfectly!
I am laughing so hard at the last sentence. Because, really, that's Anakin, always with his foot lodged firmly in his mouth. (Maybe he got more quasi-eloquent by the time of the OT because he just didn't care enough to be made awkward in his speech patterns? LOL and ow.) But, oh, yes, he wants Padme to run the galaxy while he serves as her complaint department, lol. And if he had told her that... well, actually, regardless of how he put it, I have trouble with the fact that Padme was not willing to take the man she loved up on his offer to overthrow a tyrant with him. And then, you know, reestablish the democracy (while Anakin probably sulks a little or possibly a lot until she distracts him with sexytiems or possibly childrearing; in that scenario, Anakin is totally the primary parent while Padme is off running the galactic government, IMO.)
Yes, totally a sentients'-rights lawyer! And I am so in agreement about the schism and Anakin confronting Yoda and... squee! And also squee about the drabble!
OMG!!!! Leia remembering Anakin is epic!!!! Epic!!!! I love it so hard!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Yes, yes, that is Anakin.
I love this so hard. And I have this idea that Leia also kind of wrapped him around her finger, too?
PREACH IT. HARDSTYLE. He's... I get it's his first time as a teacher and he's just out of his own apprenticeship and probably had all kinds of issues about Anakin because of Qui-gon, but. Dude, get over yourself, the boy needs you. And you are absolutely right about Obi-wan's whole "public humiliation as teaching tool" schtick (which, horribly enough, Padme also does to him--- that poor boy can't catch a break!)
Quoted for so very much truth! You are exactly right! (Well, and I love Qui-gon almost uncritically. He's so much what I would want the Jedi Order to be!)
Yeah, exactly, it's line-walking--- it's not staying as far from the edge as possible, it's learning how to balance it, and how to have a balanced reaction; to have that attachment in a healthy way. Which of course the Jedi Order was completely not teaching as of the PT. And Anakin's turn to the Dark might well have been averted if they'd had that space where personalize and reciprocal love, and not just detached compassion, was allowed--- for one thing, he could've just asked for help for Padme! And gotten it, instead of the let-go-of-everything bile.
And yes on the dogma and structure cart coming before the divine-energy horse! It's my headcanon that it's natural for Force- sensitive kids to have their first experiences of using the Force be joyful and exciting, (e.g. Anakin in the podrace). And I think the Jedi initially (and by initially I mean "founding of the Order") conceived of their no-emotion, no-attachment approach simply to get themselves to derive all their joy from their experience of the Force, so that they would use it more and develop their powers more strongly. Over time, the no-emotion cart got put before the "use the Force" horse, and the Jedi even started seeing that joy as suspect (hinted at when Anakin indicates that Obi-wan wouldn't approve of his using the Force to play around in AotC; the Jedi obviously don't categorize that sort of thing as a useful practice of Jedi powers, which would be sensible, so I'm extrapolating that it has to do with the joyfulness angle.) I think this combination--- the restriction of emotion for its own sake and the limiting the use of Force--- is what clouded the Jedi's use of the Force: they weren't practiced enough, and their lack of emotionality further etiolated their ability to connect with the Force. It's possible to use the Force dispassionately, but it's weaker because you have to use mental discipline to compensate for the lack of that intensity.
Also, I meant to say this upthread, but I really liked the connection you made with both Anakin and the future always being in motion, and how it's interesting that he (and later his son) have precognitive powers--- a special relationship of sorts with the future.
Re: epic teal deer are epic!
on 2011-09-17 04:44 am (UTC)Re: Yoda -- well, I guess I didn't figure that he trained them in a way that involved lightsabers, based on how he trained Luke. It was all "luminous beings are we" and forbidding any attack ever and such -- where Obi-Wan was a general and turned out warriors, I thought Yoda would have turned out seers and peacemakers (and Anakin's obsessive focus on foresight and order and ending the war would have fit much better with that).
But then, I think Yoda and Palpatine are pretty obviously meant to parallel each other, anyway. Yoda's a trickster, too, and the moment when he lifts the ship with his mind is clearly analogous to Palpatine breaking out the lightning.
"These people have lost their standing to pass moral judgements on us, let's do this thing," where it's more than half a private rebellion against the moral decay around them.
Oh, I rather like this idea! So often Padmé is still reluctant (though I liked one, where she wanted to be with him but didn't care about being married, while Anakin was set on having everything signed in triplicate), which doesn't really fit where she is at that point.
Re: parenthood -- yeah. Both with some parts of their relationship to each other and definitely with how they reacted to their children, it seemed it drew more from stereotypes than from their particular characters. So it'd be very satisfying to see them buck the trend (especially since there are ways they do it otherwise, like the father being the one to sacrifice himself for the child, not the mother).
Mine is that someone who's not strong in the Force carrying a child with a high midichlorian count is automatically a high-risk pregnancy because the midichlorians affect the endocrine system
That works! And of course it's not just one child, but two -- so yeah, screwed. I tend to prefer the more fantastic side of things, but that probably fits with the PT better anyway.
Re: Obi-Wan's teaching style -- "get over yourself" is pretty much my constant mantra, ha. I mean, Qui-Gon trying to exchange them was less than smooth, but wtf Obi-Wan, he's NINE. YOU ARE THE ADULT. ACT LIKE IT. And he's really still a kid in AOTC and ... no.
(Padmé carrying on the public humilitation was a bit wtf for me too, but it bothers me less -- I think because she doesn't have direct authority over him, she's probably following Obi-Wan's lead anyway, and I think it has more to do with her conflicted feelings about him than putting him in his place.
Obi-Wan, otoh, was all about putting him in his place. And the thing that I struggle with is...he was a pretty messed-up mentor to Luke, too. EVEN AFTER HE WAS DEAD. So it's like he never quite got what his real failure was? It really wasn't not being Yoda.)
Re: Qui-Gon -- Hm, I'm a bit iffy about some of his choices. The entire podrace plotline is incredibly bewildering to me and I don't really see any moral difference between mind-tricking someone into accepting worthless money and just robbing him. But I still think he had a much better grasp on the Force and, um, basic decency than a lot of the others did. And I think he'd have been a better master for Anakin.
nd Anakin's turn to the Dark might well have been averted if they'd had that space where personalize and reciprocal love, and not just detached compassion, was allowed
Exactly! And a lot of Luke's problems would have been averted too. At least he had a support network. But Anakin? No, there was nothing to catch him when he fell (literally!).
It's my headcanon that it's natural for Force- sensitive kids to have their first experiences of using the Force be joyful and exciting
That's kind of awesome. I mean, I think a lot of the time they wouldn't realize it -- Luke's exceptional abilities, for instance, obviously come from the Force, but he doesn't consciously use it until he blows up the Death Star. And that usage seems both a calm and ecstatic kind of thing, which really seems what it should be about. And I really like your idea of how the Order wound around to where we see them.
I really liked the connection you made with both Anakin and the future always being in motion, and how it's interesting that he (and later his son) have precognitive powers
Awesome! Yes, he and Luke and Shmi are all drawn towards the, whatsit, "unformed potential" -- they're really all about what can be changed, influenced, what they can do. And Luke has to go from obsessively fixating on the future, like his father, to facing the present and then the past, which he ends up dealing the most with. Shmi, of course, can only really deal with the present and Anakin is still stuck peering into the future. So it's...yeah. *waves* I had this whole arc planned about their relationship to time and space and stuff.
Re: epic teal deer are epic!
on 2011-09-18 10:15 pm (UTC)I'm glad you like my "marriage as rebellion" theory! And I agree completely that their reactions to parenthood were almost painfully stereotypical. (Actually, I have that trouble with Padme throughout RotS.)
Re: midichlorians: it's weird, I tend to veer away from the mystical side, and this is Star Wars, for cryin' out loud! It's space fantasy; clearly there is something wrong with me, lol. But, either way, carrying strongly Force-sensitive fetii is a big-time risk.
Re: Obi-wan: Yes, just yes. I like your mantra. And, yeah, that man never really seems to learn what his issues are--- any more than Yoda does, really. (I have soulsoothing fantasies about ghost!Qui-gon chewing them out royally for at least the first few years of their respective exiles.)
Yeah, you're right about the whole (completely stupid anyway) podrace plot. I read Qui-gon as having, by that point... almost a sort of moral fatigue? Because he really wants to do things like fight just wars and free slaves, and the Jedi Order has him mediating frickin' trade disputes and he's just on some level emotionally exhausted from fighting them on all these points. And they're supposed to be the arbiters of what goodness is, and yet, as you rightly pointed out, they're more about the rules and less about the Force. So... when he can act, within the scope of what the Order permits (or a little beyond it, heheh), he does. And there's also a level for me where... the whole thing has also eroded his own conscience just that much, if that makes sense? Where his own ethics have gotten a little fuzzy around the edges from all the times where what he valued would have been more ethical than what the Order allowed. But, oh yes, a much better mentor for Anakin! (I can totally see the two of them just smirking at each other over some piece of rule-bending/gray-area-ness. And Obi-wan off on the sidelines going, "Qui-gon, you are supposed to be the responsible adult here! You are corrupting that boy!" And Qui-gon being all blase and "We do what we must, Obi-wan." And Anakin snickering. And, as you say, Anakin also learning how to navigate moral conundra in a less absolute sort of way.) (On which note: "Only a Sith deals in absolutes," really, Obi-wan? And what was that that just came out of your mouth, hmmmm? Could it be... an absolute? *eyeroll*)
Oooh, I'm glad you like my whole joyful-intuitive-connection-to-the-Force idea! It just seemed--- on the one hand, something that would make sense and on the other something that the Jedi Order as of the PT would have been utterly appalled at. (And I love appalling the Jedi Order; it's good for them. :) )
And oh, I look forward to hearing more about the Revenge!verse Skywalker family's relationship to the space-time continuum!!!! (Actually, I just look forward to anything and everything Revenge!verse related, but that sounds especially cool.)