recursive translations
Nov. 27th, 2010 12:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
anghraineSo, a while ago -- a long while ago -- I gave permission for some of my stories to be translated into Russian. I will say upfront that I've been informed that they're quite good translations, and that I'm sure this reflects more on Google Translate than my translator.
I was trying to find an issue of fandom_news that inexplicably included a post of mine, and instead stumbled across the translations of my stories. Google obligingly offered to translate them back into English, so I clicked and...
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(Tragically, I was in the computer lab at the time, so I couldn't laugh aloud. I was actually shaking and crying by the time I got done.)
For general edification (and possibly warning), here are some choice excerpts:
(1) ELIZABETH [ELLIOT]: We are in a relationship with a viscountess!
I wrote a femmeslash threesome and didn't even know it. *sad face*
(Original line: -- we are cousins to a viscountess!)
(2) BINGLEY: And Miss Elizabeth ... I know it you do not like ...
DARCY: Yeah?
Yeah!
(3) BINGLEY (abruptly turns and bites through the eyes of Darcy)
o_O
(BINGLEY (spins around, facing DARCY))
(4) DARCY (quoting Shakespeare): Worse than the bite of a snake, a subsidiary of ingratitude ...
(How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child.)
(5) BINGLEY: How can she feed me any feelings? It should take me to fathom this!
OM NOM NOM.
(How could she possibly have any tender feelings for me now? She must think me an utter cad!)
(6) BINGLEY (all glowing): Then I'll make a proposal immediately!
Radioactive!Bingley FTW!
(BINGLEY (beaming): I'll propose at once!)
(7) BINGLEY (rather silly smiles and hugs suddenly fluttered DARCY)
... Google Translate is totally a slasher.
(BINGLEY (grins rather sheepishly and hugs a clearly horrified DARCY)
(8) Darcy a cake, not a bun.
...
(Darcy is a Pastry, not a Muffin.)
(9) LADY CATHERINE (satisfaction): Anne looks great, is not it, nephew?
D'ARCY: Uh... [MISS DE BOURGH is dressed in a bright green dress to be extremely unfortunate shade and looks icteric.] Yes, of course ... I want to say ... amazing ... as always. How do you feel, Ann?
MISS DE BOURGH (frown): It is very bad.
Yes, it is.
(LADY CATHERINE (beaming): Anne looks very well, does she not, Darcy?
DARCY: Er . . . [MISS DE BOURGH is wearing a gown in a particularly unflattering shade of bright green. She looks anaemic.] Yes, of course . . . she seems as . . . remarkably fine . . . as ever. How is your health, Anne?
MISS DE BOURGH [scowling]: Very poor.)
(10) DARCY: Do not have a clue.
Sing it, brother.
(I really have not the slightest idea.)
(11) DARCY abruptly pulls the air. FITZWILLIAM runs into perplexing.
(DARCY draws his breath in sharply. FITZWILLIAM is more confused than ever.)
(12) DARCY (erect, suddenly calmed down and finding confidence): Yes, of course. Your message has been very ... instructive, Lady Catherine.
LADY CATHERINE: I hope so. Well, I have a stone fell from the soul.
Uh...
(original line: DARCY [straightening, his expression suddenly composed and confident again]: Oh yes. I found your information most enlightening, Lady Catherine.
LADY CATHERINE: I should hope so. Well, that is a great burden off my mind.)
(13) MR GARDINER: How can you be a virgin mostly? ... Just tap it.
AHAHAHAHAHAHA
(How can one be mostly chaste? ... Er, just talk to her.)
(14) MR GARDINER: Thank God, at least one of them can be trusted! From Bingley, I am compelled to keep an eye!
I'm guessing he doesn't want to end up blind, like Darcy. You know, I've seen Bingley accused of a lot of things, but somehow 'eyeball molester' never made the list.
(Thank heavens. At least I can trust one of them. I have to watch Bingley like a hawk.)
(15) DARCY: -- In all parsed?
No, Darcy, NOT all parsed.
(-- know what I am about?)
(16) TRANSLATOR: Ladies! Who is fluent in English, thank Elisabeth in her blog. Can be directly in the ribbon of the Darcy-pie. She deserved!
... ?
I'm not sure I want to know.
I was trying to find an issue of fandom_news that inexplicably included a post of mine, and instead stumbled across the translations of my stories. Google obligingly offered to translate them back into English, so I clicked and...
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(Tragically, I was in the computer lab at the time, so I couldn't laugh aloud. I was actually shaking and crying by the time I got done.)
For general edification (and possibly warning), here are some choice excerpts:
(1) ELIZABETH [ELLIOT]: We are in a relationship with a viscountess!
I wrote a femmeslash threesome and didn't even know it. *sad face*
(Original line: -- we are cousins to a viscountess!)
(2) BINGLEY: And Miss Elizabeth ... I know it you do not like ...
DARCY: Yeah?
Yeah!
(3) BINGLEY (abruptly turns and bites through the eyes of Darcy)
o_O
(BINGLEY (spins around, facing DARCY))
(4) DARCY (quoting Shakespeare): Worse than the bite of a snake, a subsidiary of ingratitude ...
(How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child.)
(5) BINGLEY: How can she feed me any feelings? It should take me to fathom this!
OM NOM NOM.
(How could she possibly have any tender feelings for me now? She must think me an utter cad!)
(6) BINGLEY (all glowing): Then I'll make a proposal immediately!
Radioactive!Bingley FTW!
(BINGLEY (beaming): I'll propose at once!)
(7) BINGLEY (rather silly smiles and hugs suddenly fluttered DARCY)
... Google Translate is totally a slasher.
(BINGLEY (grins rather sheepishly and hugs a clearly horrified DARCY)
(8) Darcy a cake, not a bun.
...
(Darcy is a Pastry, not a Muffin.)
(9) LADY CATHERINE (satisfaction): Anne looks great, is not it, nephew?
D'ARCY: Uh... [MISS DE BOURGH is dressed in a bright green dress to be extremely unfortunate shade and looks icteric.] Yes, of course ... I want to say ... amazing ... as always. How do you feel, Ann?
MISS DE BOURGH (frown): It is very bad.
Yes, it is.
(LADY CATHERINE (beaming): Anne looks very well, does she not, Darcy?
DARCY: Er . . . [MISS DE BOURGH is wearing a gown in a particularly unflattering shade of bright green. She looks anaemic.] Yes, of course . . . she seems as . . . remarkably fine . . . as ever. How is your health, Anne?
MISS DE BOURGH [scowling]: Very poor.)
(10) DARCY: Do not have a clue.
Sing it, brother.
(I really have not the slightest idea.)
(11) DARCY abruptly pulls the air. FITZWILLIAM runs into perplexing.
(DARCY draws his breath in sharply. FITZWILLIAM is more confused than ever.)
(12) DARCY (erect, suddenly calmed down and finding confidence): Yes, of course. Your message has been very ... instructive, Lady Catherine.
LADY CATHERINE: I hope so. Well, I have a stone fell from the soul.
Uh...
(original line: DARCY [straightening, his expression suddenly composed and confident again]: Oh yes. I found your information most enlightening, Lady Catherine.
LADY CATHERINE: I should hope so. Well, that is a great burden off my mind.)
(13) MR GARDINER: How can you be a virgin mostly? ... Just tap it.
AHAHAHAHAHAHA
(How can one be mostly chaste? ... Er, just talk to her.)
(14) MR GARDINER: Thank God, at least one of them can be trusted! From Bingley, I am compelled to keep an eye!
I'm guessing he doesn't want to end up blind, like Darcy. You know, I've seen Bingley accused of a lot of things, but somehow 'eyeball molester' never made the list.
(Thank heavens. At least I can trust one of them. I have to watch Bingley like a hawk.)
(15) DARCY: -- In all parsed?
No, Darcy, NOT all parsed.
(-- know what I am about?)
(16) TRANSLATOR: Ladies! Who is fluent in English, thank Elisabeth in her blog. Can be directly in the ribbon of the Darcy-pie. She deserved!
... ?
I'm not sure I want to know.
no subject
on 2010-11-28 02:29 am (UTC)oh my god the bingley eyeball thing almost made me choke on my lunch. maybe an excerpt from 'pride and prejudice and zombies' got in there accidentally?
(5) BINGLEY: How can she feed me any feelings? I only want eyeballs! (fixed that for ya)
AHAHAHA! as soon as i read #8 i knew what i'd find beneath. :D
ETA: and because i just couldn't help myself:
no subject
on 2010-11-28 04:18 am (UTC)no subject
on 2010-11-28 06:46 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-11-28 06:45 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-11-28 04:50 am (UTC)this also throws the whole "the Gardiners were the means of uniting them" into a whole new light.
no subject
on 2010-11-28 06:47 pm (UTC)