Tumblr crosspost (17 January 2021)

One of the things that bothers me about the arguments that people should read ~real~ books, not (say) novel-length fanfics, is that I increasingly have a lot of reservations about the idea that people “should” be reading at all.

It feels weird to say (my MA is in literature!), and of course, if people are going to spout off about things without actually learning about them (via books or whatever else is accessible), that’s one thing. But this is generally used as a universal rather than particular argument, and … tbh there are other, equally valuable ways to spend your time, and it’s all tied up with really questionable ideas about literacy, anyway.

Again, it does depend on what sort of conversations you’re entering into—there are occasions where “doing the reading” is important (and not just in academia). But as a universal statement? No.

Tumblr crosspost (17 January 2021)

I reblogged a meme telling fic writers to tag the first fandom they wrote for, the fandom they've written the most for, and the fandom they're currently writing for.

Tagged: #1) bookverse tolkien #2) star wars by an incredibly narrow margin #3) the last thing i worked on was for austen! #the big three

[ETA 4/13/2024: to my amusement, I now have exactly the same number of SW and Austen fics, which feels apropos to who I am as a person.]

Tumblr crosspost (18 January 2021)

me on Twitter under my real name: whining, academic rambling, inane D&D remarks, academic rambling, whining, pictures of my cat

me on Twitter under my pro pseudonym: retweeting from SFWA and various publishers/editors, occasional whining, writing advice, playlists, chatter about my projects

me on Twitter as Anghraine: WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE

Tagged: #okay and occasionally korvira

Tumblr crosspost (18 January 2021)

An anon asked:

forgive me if you've answered this, but why do you think faramir was able to go from the way we saw him in ttt & early rotk (including seemingly having some prejudices against the rohirrim) to him suddenly being softer (& falling in love w/ a rohir) once in the houses of healing? it always seemed a bit of a jump to me & occurred so fast (although i guess having a near death experience is as good a catalyst as any) & id love to hear your thoughts on it (if you have any & want to of course!)

I replied:

Hmm, it’s an interesting question!

I will say that while I’ve seen the “Faramir is wrong and unfair about the Rohirrim in TTT” thing going around, I think that take pretty actively rejects Tolkien’s values and themes. I don’t think Tolkien remotely intended Faramir’s arc to involve coming around to respect the valorization of war and glory in Rohan, and increasingly in Gondor. He never does and he never will. If anything, it’s the reverse; Faramir’s reservations about the prioritization of martial prowess in the modern societies around him are Tolkien’s reservations, and Éowyn’s adoption of his ethos / at least partial rejection of Rohan’s is a conversion to a more mature and right way of thinking about these things in Tolkien’s treatment of it.

I mean, it’s fine for people to be uncomfortable with that (there’s a degree to which I am myself). But I think that people sometimes ignore that Faramir is the character most like Tolkien, and part of his function is to deliver Tolkien’s views within the story and influence other characters towards the values that Tolkien held. So that’s part of what’s going on.

Jumping back in-story, though:

I think the main issue is that in TTT, Faramir is acting as a commander among his men in a very tense situation, dealing with people he believes might have betrayed his brother to his death, and who certainly know more than they’re saying in any case (brief detour to the meta level: the ambiguity over what Faramir’s really like and what he’ll do in TTT also helps maintain tension in some very talky scenes).

Meanwhile, in early ROTK, he’s still acting as a commander, but with his own leader, whom he disagrees with about both his previous actions and their current tactics. Denethor is also his father, of course, and Faramir’s conduct there is influenced by their messy and painful mixture of love and opposition, but Tolkien notes in the letters that another major factor in how Faramir relates to Denethor is that Faramir views himself as a Númenórean before the last Númenórean head of state. This is a big deal for him.

And then he falls in battle, and when he wakes up, Denethor is dead and Faramir is the Steward of Gondor. Even though he still has someone he’s going to relate to in that Númenórean-to-Númenórean-lord way (Aragorn), it’s not the complex, concentrated thing it was with Denethor, nor the high-octane intensity of his situation in TTT. There’s no Ring, no soldiers, no dubious captives, no authority to answer to. He can simply act as he sees fit. Faramir with Éowyn is, I think, Faramir at his most natural, without these incredible pressures on him. He can afford to be softer, gentle, and compassionate, vulnerable in some ways, confident in others.

It’s more headcanon, but I also think that … yes, losing his family is freeing in some ways, but it’s also horrible, obviously. And I think part of what’s going on with him is that he’s dealing with loss, first with Boromir and then Denethor, and with the latter, that loss happened with everything unresolved, and he’s got to know there are things people aren’t telling him about it. I’ve talked about it before, but I do think there’s a lot going on in his head at that point, and he’s the sort of person whose grief makes him more sympathetic to other people’s. So I think that’s part of what’s going on, too.

And then after all of that, he just falls like a ton of bricks for this incredible woman. I don’t think he’d ever have minded that Éowyn is Rohirren—IMO his TTT remark that “we love them” is foreshadowing for this—but if he did at some point, he’s well beyond giving a single fuck about it by then. As we see with the very public kiss, of course.

So that’s pretty much where I stand on it all!

Tumblr crosspost (19 January 2021)

I reblogged a post from theclassicsreader that simply reads:

grad school (derogatory)

Tagged: #no lies detected! #i'm so Done with grad school that i can't express it

Tumblr crosspost (19 January 2021)

tbh … sometimes pride, guilt, and sunk costs are all that keep me in academia

Tagged: #i respect a lot of academics but there is SO MUCH that i'm disaffected with and have 0 interest in doing #and even stuff i genuinely need to do seems kind of intolerable yet unimportant #i know some of it is brain stuff but some of it is Not

[ETA 4/13/2024: The "brain stuff" was my extreme depression in 2021. I was not exactly wrong about academia, but the impact of COVID-19 + poorly controlled bipolar mood swings + grad school + difficulties of my field made for a particularly grim experience of that year. So that's what the depression tag is about, even when the post is not specifically about depression.]

Tumblr crosspost (19 January 2021)

I reblogged this post and added:

oh, and also, health insurance

unnamedelement responded:

This is so real

I replied:

glad it's relatable, lol

wildarthings said:

I left my phd program after a year (it wasn't working) and I still feel flashes of guilt and shame that I wasn't willing to stick it out. Academia is so guilt inducing and I'm just waiting for the year when it no longer has its shame tendrils in my life.

I replied:

It really is! I hope you feel better.

wildarthings responded:

Thank you!!! I really hope you get what you want out of your path thru academia, whatever you decide to do with it. :) :) :)

primeideal said:

relatable hahahhaha sorry. i survived though!!

colorwheels14 said:

My advice to you is if you go the academic job route, choose the one that actuallly fits your interests. I wanted to teach, and so I'm at a teaching university, vs. a research university. I may want to do something else in the future that may or may not be related to that anymore, but there are lots of paths that don't involve TT research university jobs.