anghraine | Entries tagged with fic talk: season of courtship

The biggest problem with working on the same projects for so long is that when I hear “it’s okay if people don’t like it, you can always write something new,” I’m just … uhhh, no?

Ordinarily, I work on my pet projects over 5-10 years. Sometimes I don’t care if people like them, to be sure. But sometimes I do! And just shrugging off the response to something I’ve dedicated a substantial chunk of my life to—whether it’s fanfic or original—is just, nope.

Tagged: #and the longer it takes to finish things (always pretty damn long) the more i feel like this #sure i have other stories in me #but each one matters and the decade plus ones PARTICULARLY matter #so nah i'm just going to angst over the ones whose reception i care about #(though thinking about it ... my most popular fic ever is one whose reception i didn't really care that much about #which feels like a lesson i should learn or some kind of personal challenge or something but NAH. CHALLENGE REJECTED)

Current Location: Washington
Current Music: Who Needs You (Queen)

On Tumblr, ao3commentoftheday responded to an ask about having one fic that is far more popular than any others and the ambivalent feelings that arise from that. I reblogged a further response from giasesshoumaru about how sometimes a particular fic just strikes a chord with people and we won't always know why (or there might not even be a good reason).

Tagged: #this is weirdly reassuring #given my It's Complicated feelings about SOC

Current Location: Washington
Current Music: From the End of the World (Electric Light Orchestra)

A fic meme, grabbed from

shadaras!

Name:

Anghraine / Elizabeth

Fandoms:

Tolkien, mainly LOTR; Austen, mainly Darcy/Elizabeth; Star Wars, mainly Skywalkers and Jyn/Cassian

Where you post:

Wherever I happen to be active, but also at AO3 under anghraine.

Most popular multi-chapter fic:

Season of Courtship, the Darcy/Elizabeth engagement fic I wrote 15 years ago (but revised … maybe 7-8 years ago?). It was surpassed for a long time by some other fics, but picked up a ton of kudos/bookmarks this year for some reason, so now it’s well ahead of the rest in both bookmarks and kudos. [ETA 3/17/2024: the gap has only widened since then, idk why.]

Favorite story you’ve written so far:

That’s hard to say … I’ve written a lot. In some ways, my short P&P sequel The Letters of Elizabeth Darcy, 1796-1798 will always be a fave because it came out so closely to what I wanted it to be. But the dearest to my heart are probably always going to be my Lucy Skywalker series starring f!Luke, and my f!Darcy/m!Elizabeth fic, First Impressions.

Fic you were nervous to post:

Hmm. Perhaps Better Choice, my very flawed Faramir-goes-to-Rivendell fic, which is the first fic I posted anywhere. I thought of we get dark, only to shine because of its many taboos, but Borgias fandom was so nice that I don’t think I much worried about it, beyond hoping people would read it. IDK … I’m a very nervous person, and I definitely am on the edge of my seat after I post a fic, but I don’t think I’m usually nervous about posting fics in this sense.

How you choose your titles

They’re usually general statements of what the fic is about (“Redemption,” “Anomaly,” The Jedi and the Sith Lord), references to a quote from the canon (Season of Courtship, tolerably well acquainted), or excerpts from songs (“But Thou Didst Not Leave His Soul In Hell,” “like a storm in the desert”).

Do you outline?

Sometimes—I have some things that just start with an idea, others where it’s pretty clear in my head, but I ultimately work best when I have the structure and some details all sketched out.

Complete fics:

169, says AO3. Mostly one-shots, of course.

In progress:

Posted WIPs that I have active plans to continue at this time: once I’m writing fic again—Lucy Skywalker, tolerably well acquainted, and Fíriel (f!Faramir) are at the top of my list!

Posted WIPs that I have given up on: I’m terrible at really giving up on things, tbh. I always have scraps that I poke at and things like that. Such Terms of Cordiality is vanishingly unlikely, though.

Exchange fics due soon/unrevealed: none. I had the sense (speaking for myself) not to do exchanges this year.

WIPs that live in my fanfic folder and are incomplete and who knows when they’ll be finished: not a whole lot, actually, in the sense of things that haven’t been posted. I mostly do post my WIPs. I’ve got the companion fic to my Darcy-Fitzwilliam headcanons in the folder—we’ll see how that goes.

Coming soon/not yet started: hahahaha, nothing. I’ve got quite enough to be going with.

Do you accept prompts: not exactly, these days. I don’t mind them, and if they inspire me, I’m glad to write when I can spare the time, but at this point they don’t usually kickstart me and I just feel vaguely guilty when they do but I don’t have the time/energy, so I don’t actively invite them.

Upcoming story you are most excited to write:

It’s not a story, but there’s a scene in the Fíriel-Éowyn-Merry fic that I’m reallyyyyy looking forward to (though it only has Fíriel and Éowyn in it).

Tagging, if you want to do it:

elperian,

incognitajones, irresistible-revolution,

kaz,

ncfan

Current Location: Washington
Current Music: Babe (Styx)

An anon asked:

Hi, I found your fics on AO3, are they finished but published? I’m a little confused

I replied:

Nope! Well, mostly nope.

I do have a fic (also completed on AO3) that I self-published to pay for my undergrad textbooks many years ago, but I have long since removed it from publication. Otherwise, I have 44 WIPs on AO3 for a bunch of different fandoms (many would infringe copyright if I tried to publish them), and they are for-real WIPs. I’m just that much of a fandom butterfly.

But when I complete chapters, I post them.

Current Location: Washington
Current Music: Book of Days (Enya)

cosmonauthill responded to this post:

Don’t take this the wrong way but it’s very encouraging to see a writer I admire who has similarly hmmm feelings about their most popular works on AO3

I replied:

Oh, thanks! My feelings are certainly ‘hmmm’ wrt a lot of them … some came out of an unpleasant part of my life like Season of Courtship, some are things I wrote on the side while I was working on other ideas that seemed more important, some were mostly just getting an idea out, and a few are things where I was uncomplicatedly excited to write the idea and more or less happy with the results. It’s definitely a mishmash.

Current Location: Washington
Current Music: Ride (Lana del Rey)

I was looking at my AO3 page, and … I have a pretty jumbled mix of feelings about what I’ve written, honestly.

I don’t expect many people to care, but going with the top 11:

1. Season of Courtship (Austen): I wrote it at 19 alongside The Rich Are Always Respectable, alternating on a schedule, in fits of depression and mania. A few years later (in a better frame of mind), I revised it—some sections quite substantially. I’m glad people like it but feel kind of weird about it being The One.

2. per ardua ad astra (Star Wars): I wrote this in a haze of Rogue One feelings between early 2017 and mid-2018. I was dealing with some mental health issues, but not 2005 hell, and it helped with them. I feel vaguely bad about the perpetually unfinished half of a chapter on my Drive, but I am fond of the fic generally.

3. But Thou Didst Not Leave His Soul In Hell (Star Wars): I was listening to The Messiah and had the idea of a bunch of short SW fics set to various lyrics; this is one of them. It was a strange but fun project and super soothing after Austen fandom, so it’s nice to see such a short thing up here.

4. we get dark, only to shine (The Borgias): I wrote this during my MA, and the academic and fic research crossed over heavily, which made both easier. I’d finally gotten diagnosed as bipolar and put on mood stabilizers, I was getting A’s in everything, and its fandom was the absolute nicest I’ve ever been in. Best fandom experience bar none.

5. tolerably well acquainted (Austen): I had some P&P feelings and started self-indulgent drawer fic that just kind of grew. Slowly. Very slowly. But eventually it reached the point where I decided to post what I had, and … it’s still ongoing.

6. Contradictions and Varieties (Austen): this comes from my better Austen fandom days. There was a prompt at Firthness and the first half of the fic was my fill for it, and then I tacked on an ending later. I feel like the division is very obvious and it’s pretty uneven, so I’m kind of meh about it.

7. Anomaly (Austen): the ace!Darcy fic, inspired by the ace manifestos community on Dreamwidth. I thought of actually writing a manifesto for him, and then just wrote fic instead. It’s not my best fic, but it is my precious child and every nice comment warms my heart to this day.

8. Ten Facts About Harry Potter (Harry Potter): my take on Slytherin!Harry, something I’ve always deeply loved in concept and very rarely in execution. It’s … eh.

9. First Impressions (Austen): also not my best fic, but I planned it for a year and then wrote it for a big bang, and it largely turned out the way I wanted it to turn out. That doesn’t often happen! And I had friends who were super encouraging the whole time, and was in a good place mentally, and … it was a joy, really.

10. The Talk (Austen): It sure exists. (More seriously, it’s not really “me” and feels very remote.)

11. Redemption (Star Wars): this was my first SW fic ever and I shoved a lot of my ambivalence about ROTJ and the PT into it while trying to stay away from fix-fic implications. It was really fun to write for a new fandom, so I just did whatever popped into my head, and … it doesn’t bother me, since I had such a good time writing it, but in retrospect it’s a strange little thing.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[ETA 2/28/2024: I don't think my top 11 by kudos looks exactly the same now, though it's similar: 1) Season of Courtship, 2) But Thou Didst Not Leave His Soul in Hell, 3) per ardua ad astra, 4) we get dark, only to shine, 5) Contradictions and Varieties, 6) Anomaly, 7) tolerably well acquainted, 8) The Talk, 9) Ten Facts About Harry Potter, 10) A Cunning Plan, and 11) First Impressions.]

Current Location: Washington
Current Music: All Dead, All Dead (Queen)

solemnphoenix on Tumblr said:

Goodness gracious! I finished reading 'Season of Courtship' and it's hands down, the best epilogue to P&P. You hit the bull's eye by the way you fleshed out their character arcs. They were so perfectly executed and canon compliant! Loved how their relationship evolved from fresh tender love in the beginning to the steadfast soulful union in the end!💕 The smooth transition of Miss Elizabeth Bennet of Longbourn to Mrs. Elizabeth Darcy of Pemberley was precise and perfect!! A million kudos!!💖💖💖

I replied:

Oh, thank you very much! I wrote it a longggg time ago, so I’m glad it still holds up :)

Current Location: Washington
Current Music: The Miracle of Life (Future World Music)

Apparently, I’ve been plagiarized, so I looked at my AO3 (sorted by kudos) to see if it was at least from my top five fics, since people don’t always realize how much they’re picking up and re-using.

No, it was not! But in fairness, I’m pretty ????? about what logic governs which ends up at the top. It’s currently:

Season of Courtship—Darcy/Elizabeth engagement fic I wrote at 19 (though I revised it later). It hadn’t been in my #1 slot for a really long time, but got a bunch of kudos over the last few months for some reason.
per ardua ad astra—Rogue One AU where Jyn, Cassian, and Bodhi escape Scarif only to get sucked into the Death Star. So close to being resolved, and yet, not. Def my most popular for a long while, but I posted most of it in the RO fandom heyday.
But Thou Didst Not Leave His Soul In Hell—ROTJ AU where Anakin/Vader seriously considers Luke’s offer to leave with him. It is 841 words and I desperately wish I had it in me to write more.
we get dark, only to shine—my longest fic ever at 168k; an AU for The Borgias that tries to bring in history and stay essentially true to the show’s dynamics. Another one that had its time as my #1 fic (despite being a problematic checklist, including incest).
tolerably well acquainted—canon-compliant fic expanding on Elizabeth’s time at Pemberley and afterwards. It’s actually something I’m invested in right now, so it’s been nice to see it climbing past most of my old fics.

Anyway. That happened!

( cut )

Current Location: Washington
Current Music: Don't Stop (Fleetwood Mac)

I was ranking my fics by bookmarks to see if that affected the general ranking, which is how I found out that Season of Courtship now has exactly 500 bookmarks.

...I don't even know.

(It does affect the ranking, btw! Courtship reigns over all my fics regardless, but my second most bookmarked is per ardua ad astra, which I think is only #3 or #4 by kudos. My weird first SW fic—it's an "Anakin gets redeemed earlier and doesn't die" fic that's also AU for ROTJ+the PT—makes it in the top 10, too, and my pre-Disney, EU-ignoring post-ROTJ headcanon scraps series even squeaks into the top 20. I'm never sure how to judge these kinds of differences between kudos and bookmarks; kudos are a bit lower-investment, I think, so insofar as they measure anything, they seem maybe a metric of general approval, while bookmarks are more like "I'm intrigued" or "I'll want to read this again.")

Current Location: Washington

This one requires some context. Back in 2018, I felt like making some fic graphics, so I started doing some for my most popular fics, ranked by AO3 kudos. In 2020, I reblogged the one I'd made for Season of Courtship.

2018:

4. Season of Courtship (AO3)

Elizabeth did all she could to shield him from the frequent notice of either, and was ever anxious to keep him to herself, and to those of her family with whom he might converse without mortification; and though the uncomfortable feelings arising from all this took from the season of courtship much of its pleasure, it added to the hope of the future.

—Pride and Prejudice, Ch 60

The one where Elizabeth and Darcy try to survive their engagement and the family dramas around it.

(Austen || Darcy/Elizabeth || canon-compliant P&P interquel || T)

2020:

I posted this in 2006 and it’s pretty suddenly leapt to my #1 most kudos’d fic, so … thanks to whoever recced it?

#nice things people say to me #not directly to me and i don't know who it was but someone sure said something nice somewhere

Current Location: Washington
Current Music: Landslide (Fleetwood Mac)

I did a meme awhile back that includes listing your most popular works by kudos, and it's like:

1. Season of Courtship: just over 2000 kudos. Nothing I've written out of my teens will ever compare, apparently. [Dated to 2006 on AO3, but actually written earlier.]

2. But Thou Didst Not Leave His Soul In Hell: 1429 kudos. 841 words, so ... okay. [2012]

3. per ardua ad astra: 1354 kudos. Yay, a longfic that I wrote in the comparatively recent past made the list! It definitely benefited from being for what was then a big ship in a megafandom, but I was mostly pretty happy with it despite some issues and continuity errors. [updated 2018]

4. we get dark, only to shine: lol, I knew it'd show up here somewhere. 1301 kudos. It used to be far and away my most popular fic, actually, despite (because of?) centering problematic characters on the problematic train to Problematicville. (The canon sibling incest pairing is but one of the dubious features.) I did put a lot of fairly serious historical research into it, though, which overlapped with my RL research enough to get a paper written and sort of published. *\0/* [updated 2016]

5. tolerably well acquainted: 1141 kudos. And here's one that I'm uncomplicatedly happy about. It's just canon expanded from Pemberley onwards, but I pored over the novel to try and make sure everything fit well enough, and tried to strike some middle ground between a pseudo-Austenian style and my own (which, despite my many Austen fics, I always find fairly difficult). But I'm very, very fond of it and hope to finish it one day. [updated 2020]

Current Location: Washington

I was sorting my fics by bookmarks for a meme, and:

my legacy

Current Mood: amused
Current Location: Washington

Season of Courtship has more kudos, more bookmarks, more comments, and more hits than any of my other Austen fics (of which there are 68). I was nineteen when I started posting it.

I'll be thirty-three in two months.

O_O

Current Location: Washington
Current Music: Set Fire to the Rain (Adele)

I stole it from

tree , because I want to feel accomplished despite having not written anything. (And also, I'm procrastinating on reading the second half of Mill on the Floss, which scarred me in my sensitive adolescence.)

( Read more... )

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Current Music: Hot Blooded (Foreigner)